Today I am Grateful.

Today, I am grateful. For sunshine. For rain. For strong friendships. For new jeans. For family. For telephones. For my children (takes a moment to go snuggle them). For my loving husband. For personal growth. For a sense of stability, security, and safety. For pure water. For living, raw foods that nourish and heal and invite awareness. For the universal light force of Reiki. For the unknowable - the adventures that are the future - I leap off into the future willingly and freely... the jump is the journey that is this moment.

(Did you know I've been bungy-jumping twice - once @ 18 & again @ 28? 140 foot drop off a bridge over a beautiful natural canyon above a cold, rushing river... Breathtaking. And let me tell you - 140 feet looks much higher when you're above than below. LOL)

And, I'd like it publicly noted that I am, in earnest, going to eliminate wheat and the remainder of cooked food (what little there is) from my diet completely from this moment forth. I say that now, lol, in a moment where I'm not eating anyways, nor am I tempted to. Ask me again when I stand before a loaf of freshly-baked organic raisin bread while the little monkey-doodles are asking for 'just a slice' of warm bread. ;) I have made the time to read more of Angela Stokes' e-book, Raw Emotions. It's coming out in print soon; an absolute must-have book for anyone who wants to honestly deal with their emotional demons and baggage. Anyhow, not to leave you hanging, but I really want to get back to reading it. lol Do hope you understand. :)

Much love & blessings,

~n~

deeeeetox...

I cannot believe how nasty detoxing can be. Shouldn't really come as a surprise, but honestly, in the past 10+ months I've been raw, I really haven't had an experience like I've had the past little while... it's like it's this ongoing, low-grade-simmering kind of detoxing... what I've noticed is that I seem highly emotional & reactive - just look at me funny and I'll get all weepy on ya - and generally less able to cope with life's little stresses; I just seem less happy overall, for no apparent reason - life is great, it's fantastic, so why am I not light-hearted and joyous?! Where has my sense of humour gone - is it hidden under the sofa?! ;P Add to that a release of mucous & also sleepiness - last night I slept 10 hours solid, and this is becoming not-so-unusual for me the past couple weeks. As well, last night I had a headache (I rarely get headaches), so all this together, for me, spells d-e-t-o-x. Thankfully, after a solid 10 hour sleep I woke up refreshed, and happy(!)... (did it last? well, not so much the entire day, but still, it helped tremendously to have a fresh outlook in the morning). Today was also a day I purposely took off of exercising. Exercise is VERY helpful for managing detox symptoms and knowing I'm detoxing, I did consider foregoing the day off, but I want to maintain a high level of motivation, and the occasional day off is helpful.

I am so committed to eating raw. I cannot imagine going back to the standard diet. No way. I'm glad I didn't have any detox symptoms like this when I initially went raw or it might have wavered my resolve. 10 months in there is NO WAY I'm going back on cooked food as the staple part of my diet - I'm not going to backslide even to a vegan diet. I'm not maintaining 100% raw all the time (as you can see from my food diary below), but on the whole, if you look at the week, I'm 100% raw usually 4 days a week and the other 3 days I end up having something like 1/2 a piece of toast that one of the children left sitting on their plate at breakfast, or something - the rest of the day I'm totally raw, but that 1/2 a piece of toast, I include in my food diary (so I guess over all the food I eat in a week, I'm 90+% raw if you look at it that way - it's not like I have entire meals or entire days with no raw foods - the cooked food is always something minor in the course of the day), and I've noticed that these temptations I succumb to are nearly ALWAYS wheat products. What a HUGE trigger wheat is for me. I DO sometimes wish I lived in a hermitage, all alone (a cob one, LOL), where I could surround myself with only raw foods, but alas, I have a loving and supportive family whose company I enjoy tremendously, so I choose to live with them instead and have the temptation of wheat constantly in my kitchen. It's making me stronger, each moment I choose to go without it, right. ;)

Today I had:

• 3L pure, filtered water throughout the day, some with lime slices, some not
• 12 oz soaked prune 'juice' & 6 soaked prunes
• 1c muesli with 1c sesame milk
• a large spinach salad with mushroom and red pepper and Ani Phyo's creamy curry salad dressing (off Youtube) - DEEEEEElish
• 1.25 L smoothie - a good 3 or 4c of greens from the yard (corn salad, kale, dandelion, chickweed, arugula, whatever else I snipped from the garden), a banana, a few frozen apricot halves, 1c frozen local blueberries, 1c frozen local raspberries, 2 tbsp ground flax, 1 tbsp maca powder, 1 tsp goji berry powder, 1/4 tsp camu berry powder, 1 tbsp local honey (I'm out of dates, raisins, and agave; as a vegan, I don't usually consume honey)... I think that was it...
• and a couple chocolate chip cookies (homemade & mostly organic ingredients, but not vegan) and a handful of air-popped organic popcorn, neither of which were raw. See what happens when i give in to emotional eating? in an instant, i stop honouring myself. i could sit here and berate myself for doing it, but i'm not going to. I guess I was trying to slow down (prolong?!) the detox, I don't know. Actually, I was simply trying to avoid dealing with stressful situations that arose (ya, that's helpful, isn't it.... oops, I've made a commitment to myself: no sarcasm). I think tonight I'm going to read some more of Raw Emotions. :)

Young Daughter: "Why is called Mount Fuji?" (pronounced 'foooo-ji')

Young Son: "I don't know why it's called Mount Fuji." (pronounced 'fooooo-ji' also)

Young Daughter: "'Cause there's lots of food, probably."

They both giggle.

Today I am grateful for my very VERY supportive and loving family, standing solidly by my side as I go through these emotional moments of detox. I just loved being with them this weekend. I am very grateful for my children's vitality and energy (even if sometimes my introverted self finds it somewhat distracting or over-the-top, LOL). I am grateful for the delicious fresh greens I harvested from our garden/yard today. I am grateful for a roof over my head and clothes and more-than-enough food available to us all. I am grateful for my good health. And I am very grateful you decided to read my blog today. ;)

Please consider signing this online petition to eliminate nuclear arms: http://www.globalzero.org/en/

Parenting struggles...

Well. Life is good - my back is clearly on the mend - 3 visits to the chiropractor and he had it completely in alignment - as evidenced by the wonderful relaxing stretches at tai chi class the other day. Health is great - eating well, keeping a daily food log (have been for the past 5 wks) and exercising regularly (I'll be rowing 7 kms today, about 35 mins, to make my goal of 100 kms for this month). All in all, life is great.

Having a bit of an issue with parenting, though, and if you can help me out here, I'd so appreciate it. One of my children quite regularly pouts if they don't get their way - things like slamming doors, stomping off, leaving the room, and generally displaying anger. It is to a point where it is affecting friendships, as in one of their friends no longer wants to play with them because of this behaviour (this particular friend bottles everything up inside, fwiw). I have spoken with other parents who know my child well, and none feel that this is a major issue, but some do recognize this behaviour in my child. I've been told from some parents that my child will outgrow this behaviour, but from personal experience, I'm shaken up. See, I feel like I was exactly like this as a child, so I can see what's happening here, but it's breaking my heart that the friends aren't willing to give my child a second chance. And furthermore, I feel like it took the greater part of my youth to really get a grasp on the rollercoasters that are my emotions. Only in the last, say 10 or 15 years, have I really begun to handle conflict and emotions well - oh, I still get my feathers ruffled occasionally, but certainly not on a daily or hourly basis like I recall in childhood. I don't want my child to go through their entire childhood struggling with this. I've talked about it with my child - the reason their friend has stopped calling - and it's really hurting my child's feelings. How can I help my child see the consequences of their actions, and help them to make a change (if they're willing to)? Also, when I look back at my own childhood, I wonder how the food I was eating affected my behaviour. And so I wonder if I shouldn't talk to my child about cutting out certain foods - certainly sugar, perhaps even wheat or dairy, and see if that won't help them somehow (off the top of my head I don't think sugar is a major issue, but wheat or dairy could very well be). However, I would certainly seek medical advice (probably both Dr & Naturopath) before doing this. Anyhow, your thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.

Sighhhhh
~n~

Dreams....

yesterday my son told me he had a dream that i was lying in bed and had had a baby overnight, unbeknownst to me!! I laughed. he wondered what the dream 'meant' - that i won't have anymore children? that i will? i think it's probably something like a new project or interest or something will be created by me, and since i'm not planning on creating or starting anything today or anytime soon, it WILL be a bit of a surprise if i DO. LOL

last night i had a bizarre dream. i was out on a boat, apparently a coast guard boat (LOL) where i was working/volunteering. someone from my past (yes i know who it was) was in charge of the boat and so we were out on this boat (others as well) and this other boat we were following was in danger. it was a sailboat and had flipped underwater but the crew was fine - they managed to flip it back upright. i had a folder of papers and stuff with me so before i jumped into the water to help (wth?) i tossed my binder or folder onto the chair in the cabin and then jumped into the water to assist. turns out my 'assistance' actually ended up flipping the sailboat back underwater - i guess i wasn't as helpful as i intended, LOL - but the crew once again managed to re-flip it upright. pretty funny. but as i got back onto the boat, this person from my past had gone into the cabin and got my folder off the chair and was rifling through it!! i was shocked. he took something i was intending to mail to someone else (a gift my son had bought for someone with his own money) and opened it up and spilled the contents out into the water. i was so upset - i said, 'my son bought that with his own money! he's going to be so upset!' the dream continued on inside an army building (again, i'm LOL here), but nothing ever got resolved.

i woke up and spent a great deal of time thinking about relationships - about this person from my past, about relationships between people, between groups of people, between countries. As i lay there, i could see how i had something to learn from everyone who has come into and through my life and i reflected on many people and what lesson i had learned about myself from them. i began to think about the chinese & tibetans and the conflict there and a wellspring of compassion grew inside me for both the chinese and tibetan people. i kept thinking about various people and relationships and the meaning and growth they've offered to me. hmmmm... so that's how i started my day.

namaste
~n~

cREaTiVe jUicEs fLoWinG...

Oh yes, I've had a lovely, bliss-filled day... really feeling the support of the universe, just feeling like Everything is where it should be... that life is being guided... it's been wonderful. Smiling while going about my day, periodically, for no apparent reason at all, other than I am so filled with gratitude for this moment. I taught tai chi this morning and had a fantastic time - the students are great. We laugh, we have fun, we learn from each other. It's really cool. Then I picked my kids up from my friend, and wow, she is such an inspirational and kind spirit. I just have so much admiration for her. We chatted at length; I so enjoyed our conversation.

She had gone to Seedy Saturday on the weekend and found out that one acre will yield one metric ton (tonne?) of wheat. Isn't that crazy?! So then we started doing calculations in our heads - how much wheat do our families consume in one year?! Well, I'm guessing we go through maybe 300 lbs of wheat in a year between 4 of us (max 300, I'm thinking it's closer to 250). So I'm thinking... and correct me if my math is off here - that on one acre, you could feed about 3 families, each consuming ~300 lbs? So really, I'd only need to plant 1/2 acre to feed our family quite securely for a year with wheat. AND... there's a local mill (within 100 kms)! That's fantastic!! She and I were both so pleased. Although I am a committed raw vegan, the other 3 members of this household all consume wheat products, so it would be so nice to have a local, organic source of the grain - not to mention think about how much $$ we'd save over a year!! Our wheat/flour prices through our food co-op have TRIPLED this past year. It's crazy. My friend and I continued to talk about farming and our plans for this year.

Exercise:
I rowed another 6 kms today as well as doing tai chi for an hour this morning in class.

Today I've eaten/drank:

• 1.5L of green smoothie (I had 3/4L around 10 a.m. and 3/4L around 2 p.m.),
• 1/2 an avocado and a tomato diced up together with a little salt and nama shoyu on it,
• a few flax crackers,
• and 3 1/2 L of water with lemon (began the day with 48 oz (~1.5L) before making the smoothie).

In the super-packed green smoothie I put:

• 5 pieces of kale,
• 2 tbsp ground flax,
• 1 banana,
• 1c frozen blueberries,
• 1.5c frozen raspberries,
• 1 tbsp maca powder,
• 1/4 tsp camu camu powder,
• 1 tsp goji berry powder,
• 1 tbsp cacao nibs,
• 1 tbsp cacao powder,
• 1 tbsp agave nectar,
• 1 tbsp shredded coconut,
• 1 tbsp cashews,
• 2c of sesame milk and
• ~2c of water.

Why so many additions to the smoothie? Well, I guess I figure I want the most bang for the buck, as it were, the most nutrition in the smoothie. Read on to find out more about each ingredients purported benefits... and then go and make a green smoothie! ;)

Kale is obviously, a dark leafy green. The many benefits of dark leafy greens are well known:
Kale provides more nutritional value for fewer calories than almost any other food around. Kale has sulfur-containing phytonutrients, which are thought to prevent cancers. Kale is also thought to aid in detoxification and cleansing. The carotenoids kale contains aid in lowering the risk of cataracts. Kale contains vitamin A, promotes lung health, contains vitamin C, supports the immune system, protects against arthritis. Kale is a good source of fiber, a very good source of calcium, vitamin E (slowing the loss of mental functioning), and protects against many forms of cancer.

Ground flax seeds are said to be high in alpha linolenic acid, omega-3 (good) fat. Ground flax protects against heart disease, cancer and diabetes. It is rich in beneficial fiber and boosts the immune system, helps manage weight, enhances memory, mood and attention. Ground flax helps lower cholesterol, has anti-inflammatory effects, lowers the risk of breast cancer, fights constipation, IBS, and diarrhea. It reduces symptoms of menopause and helps with asthma, migraines and arthritis.

Bananas are full of potassium, which helps keep your heart and nervous system in good shape. They are good for your kidneys (minimizing the risk of kidney stones) and bones (reducing the risk of osteoporosis). Bananas contain the amino acid tryptophan (also found in turkey, it acts as a mild sedative and has a calming effect on the brain). Bananas are high in B6 (essential for antibody production, B6 increases immune functioning), and help the body make hemoglobin, as well as being a good source of fiber.

Berries are of course full of antioxidants. Berries contain folic acid, vitamin C, and other important minerals and phytochemicals. Blueberries protect against bladder infections and also lower cholesterol and are thought to be antifungal, antiseptic and anti-inflammatory. Blueberries improve balance, coordination and memory. Blueberries and raspberries (as well as other berries) may reduce your risk of cancer. Blueberries and raspberries contain lutein, important for good vision.

Maca powder is thought to increase energy, endurance, stamina, sexual functioning, libido and fertility. It's thought to alleviate chronic fatigue syndrome, regulate hormonal imbalances, aid in alleviating depression, giving a feeling of well-being, reduce anxiety and stress, enhance memory, learning and mental ability, reduce anemia, accelerate healing, and have a beneficial action on the circulatory system. It is good for healthy teeth and bones, gives the skin a more youthful glow, is non-addictive, and is antibacterial, antifungal, anticarcinogen, and antioxidant.

Camu Camu Berry Powder is a really concentrated source of vitamin C - 1/8 tsp a day is all you need. It is thought to protect the nervous system from degenerative diseases, protect the eyes from macular degeneration, aid in the prevention of Alhzeimer's and dementia, improve cognitive performance and mental focus, prevent depression, migraines, and infertility.

Goji or wolf berries are thought to help eyesight, protect the liver, boost the immune system, and increase circulation. The berries are rich in antioxidants, particularly carotenoids, including beta-carotene and zeaxanthin. Zeaxanthin in particular may decrease the risk of glaucoma and age-related macular degeneration (AMD). Goji berries may also reduce blood glucose and lower cholesterol levels. Goji berries contain a good source of carbohydrates, protein, fat and dietary fiber, and also contain many essential nutrients and minerals such as calcium, potassium, iron, zinc, vitamin C, beta-carotene, zeaxanthin, vitamin B2, selenium, and several amino acids.

Raw cacao contains a high level of flavonoids, which may have beneficial cardiovascular health effects. Raw cacao is thought to lower cholesterol levels, protect against heart disease and cancer. It may have important benefits for the brain in terms of learning and memory. Raw cacao contains large amounts of antioxidants (nearly twice as much as red wine and three times as much as in green tea). It also contains magnesium, iron, chromium, vitamin C, and zinc. Raw cacao may reduce blood pressure.

Raw agave nectar is a natural sweetener that is low-glycemic (meaning it doesn't spike blood sugar levels) and is safe for type II diabetics (only stevia and agave share this honour). It is recommended for anti-candida yeast diets.

Coconut is a stable source of dietary fat. It is thought to be thyroid stimulating and have anti-aging effects. The thyroid stimulation is said to aid in weight loss. Coconut is thought to be antimicrobial/antiseptic and also be an anticarcinogen.

Cashews are a good source of iron (improving red blod cell function & enzyme activity), magnesium (promotes energy release and bone growth), phosphorus (builds bones and teeth), zinc (essential to digestion and metabolism) and selenium (has important antioxidant properties, thus protecting the body from cancer). Cashews are also good sources of protein.
Of course cashews are also cholesterol-free. Cashews also contain phytochemicals with antioxidant properties that protects the body from cancer and heart disease.

Sesame milk is said to remove intestinal worms and pus formations (gross). Sesame seeds are a good source of vitamin E, helping to strengthen the heart and nervous system. Sesame seeds are also said to protect against liver damage and high blood pressure. Half a cup of sesame seeds has 3x more calcium than half a cup of whole milk. Sesame oil can be applied externally to babies to remove cradle cap, and can also be used externally to remove wrinkles.

On to the next book....

So now I'm reading Living Simply with Children and I am really enjoying it. I can't remember the author but I am really resonating with the concept of living simply - of living a life in accordance with one's values. This is very meaningful to me. :) I'll write more later - I am intending to get dressed today (lol - yesterday was a pajama day) and exercise and basically get the day going. So you'll forgive me for not writing more, but I'll edit this post later and continue on... And fwiw, my back is definitely on the mend... I was able to row 6 kms yesterday and will go to the chiropractor twice this week as well. A little sore/stiff when sitting for long periods (hence this short post) but feels good to keep it moving.

namaste'
~n~

Healthy Living

I was reading Udo Erasmus's 'Fats that Heal, Fats that Kill' this afternoon and wow, what a great read that is. What really resonated with me was what he wrote about longevity (p 379):

"A long life is the cumulative result of doing a lot of little things right. It results from a balance of the following factors:

• fuels that build the fire of life necessary to keep cells active and clean;
• antioxidants that provide spark control;
• avoidance of external and internal toxic influences;
• digestive efficiency;
• optimally functioning bowel flora;
• the right kinds of fiber that keep our colon clean;
• clean water to drink and bathe in;
• clean air;
• sunlight;
• physical activity that keeps our body fit;
• rest and relaxation;
• challenges worth meeting;
• good feeling about oneself;
• positive goals and constructive activities;
• mutually supportive relationships;
• a clean and natural environment;
• independence in thinking and livelihood;
• emotionally healthy beliefs;
• a sense of humour;
• faith in nature, life, and the human body;
• enjoyment of our own life;
• positive regard for life in general."

I wholeheartedly agree with him on every one of those points. And really, how many of those are we able to control or influence? So many. He goes on, a short while later, to discuss the concept of conscious living (p 403):

"Living consciously means being aware of our feelings, emotions, and thoughts; being aware of the actions that flow from emotions and thoughts; being aware of the consequences of our actions, and learning from these consequences. Living consciously is necessary for realizing today, in our life, what we imagine were the 'good old days' or what we hope will be the 'better future'. Living consciously has always required the effort of being aware, present, alert, and deliberate. While the circumstances in which we face the challenge of living consciously change, conscious living is simply a question of values, priorities, and commitments. Conscious living has always been, is, and always will be possible for any person, under any set of circumstances - a matter of deciding and choosing how we live."

I love that last sentence - conscious living is available to us all, in every moment. Are you up for that - for the challenge of choosing conscious living in THIS moment? I sure am. That one goal - living consciously - is what fuels me, is what wakes me up with a smile on my face every day - I think it's possibly the very best thing that I can aspire to - that I can role model for my children - to live consciously, responsibly, and in the present moment. After all, my life is good. SOOOO good. And I am SO grateful for every aspect of it. I'm not looking backwards at some 'good ol' days', nor do I spend time fantastizing about the future that is yet to come... sure I think about it, I make goals and plans and such, but it is not what my life is about. Life is here, now, and it's damn good. Even with a sore back, lol.

And check out this crazy statistic (p 405): "In 1815, sugar consumption was 15 pounds per person per year. In 1865, human beings consumed about 40 pounds of sugar per year. By 1900, sugar consumption had risen to 85 pounds per person per year. In 1970, sugar consuption was about 120 pounds per person per year, and today (1993) it stands at 135 pounds (61 kilos) per person per year." That is beyond incredible. It's a tad horrid, don't you think? I wonder what it is today - 16 years later?

Chapters 90 (The biological basis of natural therapies) and 91 (Health as Wholeness) really spoke to me, too. But I'll leave you with that... just check the book out sometime if you are so inclined. :)

namaste'