I spent the weekend in solitude. The rest of the family was away from home, and I had the pleasure of being alone at home. I seriously don't even know how long it's been since I've had any amount of time alone at home. A *long* time ago. And wow, did I ever need it.
I sat around.
I cried.
I gardened.
I cried in the garden.
I read books in the sunshine on the deck.
I cried a little in the sunshine, letting the sun dry the salty tears on my face.
I had a bath before sleeping for 10 1/2 hrs.
I cried in the bathtub.
(seeing a theme?!)
Okay, yep, that was me. Having a little meltdown on my own. And you know, it felt so goooooooood to just let it out. Sometimes a good cry is totally therapeutic, even when you're not crying about anything in particular - life's just got you down. You let it out and then you move on. By the time the family came home at the end of the weekend, I was ready to face life head-on again.
The days since have been grand; I feel sooooo much more like 'me'. I think I don't often appreciate just how stressful life can be at times, especially when it's perpetual stressors that just don't seem to go away. We habituate to them and tune them out, but they are still there, affecting our subtle body energies.
and fwiw, i didn't cry *quite* that much on the weekend, but it definitely felt wonderful to live in near-silence for nearly two full days, not having to speak to anyone and only occasionally verbally interacting with the dog or cats. What a treasure that silence was! :)
Blessings to all the parents out there, because it's the most important thing you can do in life to raise your child with your whole heart invested into it. Not easy, but sooooo worth it!
*namaste*
13 September 2011
10 September 2011
Not Back to School
It's been a busy, interesting week. The kids officially returned to 'school' this week, although as homeschoolers, it's not the drastic change that one might anticipate. For us, there's an easing into the fall routine. Registration in classes they want to attend, a lot of time doing mind-mapping and discussing the upcoming year, a phone call with our beloved Learning Consultant. Days spent jumping on the trampoline and riding bikes, making up games, playing board games, home-cooked meals, playing paper dolls and lip-synching to favourite songs. ;)
There was a lot of tai chi this week - teaching two classes, attending an open house where I taught the try-it class, going to an afternoon intensive/workshop, and organizing and participating in a couple demos as well. Phew! That *was* a lot of tai chi. But you know, it's so relaxing and it feels good to put that energy and commitment into my health, both physical and mental. As an instructor, it can be challenging; sometimes I feel like I open a can of worms with discussions, but I'm very grateful for the support of the other instructors and the tai chi society - everyone is there to support me as I instruct, and I am truly grateful for that. I get so much out of my tai chi practice, and I can see that I have a *long* way to go on the journey. I am honoured to be able to support other students on their journey as I travel my own.
At the farm, there's harvest-time is here! Not to mention beds to be prepped for winter. I've done some pressure canning lately - green beans and baby beets and other things. I'd love to do a little more; it's very gratifying to look in the pantry and see all the beautiful mason jars all lined up. Right now the grocery store has 10 lb cases of peaches for $9.99; I'd love to get 50 or even 100 lbs and can them all.
Lots of discussion in the family this week around finances and the household budget and such. Changes are afoot; I'm trying to wrap my head around it all as we figure it out together. I got my first job when I was 10 delivering newspapers and even after all these years, I expect I would have a better grip on money, and (confession) I don't. In theory, it's all so simple: income must be greater than expenses. But in reality, running a household isn't that simple, especially when unexpected (or expected but unaccounted-for-in-the-budget) expenses come up. Things like an unplanned vet bill or, for that matter, the sale on peaches... ideally, there's money set aside for things that come up. I hope my children learn to create and live within a balanced budget before they're adults; I know it's not something I was ever explicitly taught, and that's probably the case for many of us.
Today I was offered a regular job in our community - it's only half an hour a day, but it has to be done at the same time every day. It's within walking distance of our home, and I think half an hour a day is quite manageable. Between that, and helping ds with cleaning the community hall, and selling eggs at the end of the driveway, we're creating quite a little sustainable economy in our community for ourselves. I've got to get my raw food order going soon, too; I missed putting one in in August and September might not happen either. I think dh's right that many people are interested in raw food and trying it out, or at least incorporating more raw foods into their general diets.
Ideally, I'd like to live debt-free. To have no mortgage, to own land outright. To build a well-planned smaller home ourselves on it. Off-grid. No cable tv, no wi-fi, but yes, high-speed internet and a phone line. ;) I envision days spent in the abundant garden, growing the majority of our own food, communing with nature. Time spent in the kitchen putting away the harvest for winter. Time spent in leisure on the deck or patio or terrace overlooking the pond and garden. Time spent as family, as community.
My overall goal is not to roll around naked in a pile of $100 bills. I do not share the commonly assumed vision of success, the whole American dream of unrestrained material consumerism. I want to enjoy life. To have time to build loving relationships with family, with others in the community. To live a healthy, balanced life. Time spent doing tai chi, swimming, cycling, hiking, and generally a more active lifestyle than I currently lead. This would also predicate less time spent driving and more time spent at home. I don't want to live in forced poverty, but I also don't think that we need to work insane hours to consume more than is necessary. Despite what the advertisers may say, money cannot buy you happiness (but I do admit there is a certain amount where it makes one comfortable, where it meets our basic needs).
I would say that I would rather spend a little more money on an item of good quality rather than buy a cheaper one that will wear out sooner and ultimately create more waste. Like our organic cotton flannel sheets from Germany. Yes, expensive. Yes, imported and the associated transportation carbon footprint. But imo, they'll last a lot longer than the no-name brand sheets at the discount superstore. Or the investment in my VitaMix blender, over a cheaper (lower quality) blender. Things like that.
I don't know where I'm going with this; I just know that there are things happening in my life right now - big changes - that are somewhat overwhelming. I'm especially grateful to have the weekend to myself to contemplate life, to just spend time reading, lying in the September sunshine, time just to be. *Namaste*
On my bookshelf right now:
Less is More - Cecile Andrews and Wanda Urbanska
The Findhorn Garden Story
One-Income Household: how to do a lot with a little - Susan Reynolds & Lauren Bakken
Simple Prosperity: finding real wealth in a sustainable lifestyle - David Wann
The Simple Feeling of Being: embracing your true nature - Ken Wilber
A different kind of luxury: japanese lessons in simple living and inner abundance - Andy Couturier
Ecovillages - Jan Martin Bang
There was a lot of tai chi this week - teaching two classes, attending an open house where I taught the try-it class, going to an afternoon intensive/workshop, and organizing and participating in a couple demos as well. Phew! That *was* a lot of tai chi. But you know, it's so relaxing and it feels good to put that energy and commitment into my health, both physical and mental. As an instructor, it can be challenging; sometimes I feel like I open a can of worms with discussions, but I'm very grateful for the support of the other instructors and the tai chi society - everyone is there to support me as I instruct, and I am truly grateful for that. I get so much out of my tai chi practice, and I can see that I have a *long* way to go on the journey. I am honoured to be able to support other students on their journey as I travel my own.
At the farm, there's harvest-time is here! Not to mention beds to be prepped for winter. I've done some pressure canning lately - green beans and baby beets and other things. I'd love to do a little more; it's very gratifying to look in the pantry and see all the beautiful mason jars all lined up. Right now the grocery store has 10 lb cases of peaches for $9.99; I'd love to get 50 or even 100 lbs and can them all.
Lots of discussion in the family this week around finances and the household budget and such. Changes are afoot; I'm trying to wrap my head around it all as we figure it out together. I got my first job when I was 10 delivering newspapers and even after all these years, I expect I would have a better grip on money, and (confession) I don't. In theory, it's all so simple: income must be greater than expenses. But in reality, running a household isn't that simple, especially when unexpected (or expected but unaccounted-for-in-the-budget) expenses come up. Things like an unplanned vet bill or, for that matter, the sale on peaches... ideally, there's money set aside for things that come up. I hope my children learn to create and live within a balanced budget before they're adults; I know it's not something I was ever explicitly taught, and that's probably the case for many of us.
Today I was offered a regular job in our community - it's only half an hour a day, but it has to be done at the same time every day. It's within walking distance of our home, and I think half an hour a day is quite manageable. Between that, and helping ds with cleaning the community hall, and selling eggs at the end of the driveway, we're creating quite a little sustainable economy in our community for ourselves. I've got to get my raw food order going soon, too; I missed putting one in in August and September might not happen either. I think dh's right that many people are interested in raw food and trying it out, or at least incorporating more raw foods into their general diets.
Ideally, I'd like to live debt-free. To have no mortgage, to own land outright. To build a well-planned smaller home ourselves on it. Off-grid. No cable tv, no wi-fi, but yes, high-speed internet and a phone line. ;) I envision days spent in the abundant garden, growing the majority of our own food, communing with nature. Time spent in the kitchen putting away the harvest for winter. Time spent in leisure on the deck or patio or terrace overlooking the pond and garden. Time spent as family, as community.
My overall goal is not to roll around naked in a pile of $100 bills. I do not share the commonly assumed vision of success, the whole American dream of unrestrained material consumerism. I want to enjoy life. To have time to build loving relationships with family, with others in the community. To live a healthy, balanced life. Time spent doing tai chi, swimming, cycling, hiking, and generally a more active lifestyle than I currently lead. This would also predicate less time spent driving and more time spent at home. I don't want to live in forced poverty, but I also don't think that we need to work insane hours to consume more than is necessary. Despite what the advertisers may say, money cannot buy you happiness (but I do admit there is a certain amount where it makes one comfortable, where it meets our basic needs).
I would say that I would rather spend a little more money on an item of good quality rather than buy a cheaper one that will wear out sooner and ultimately create more waste. Like our organic cotton flannel sheets from Germany. Yes, expensive. Yes, imported and the associated transportation carbon footprint. But imo, they'll last a lot longer than the no-name brand sheets at the discount superstore. Or the investment in my VitaMix blender, over a cheaper (lower quality) blender. Things like that.
I don't know where I'm going with this; I just know that there are things happening in my life right now - big changes - that are somewhat overwhelming. I'm especially grateful to have the weekend to myself to contemplate life, to just spend time reading, lying in the September sunshine, time just to be. *Namaste*
On my bookshelf right now:
Less is More - Cecile Andrews and Wanda Urbanska
The Findhorn Garden Story
One-Income Household: how to do a lot with a little - Susan Reynolds & Lauren Bakken
Simple Prosperity: finding real wealth in a sustainable lifestyle - David Wann
The Simple Feeling of Being: embracing your true nature - Ken Wilber
A different kind of luxury: japanese lessons in simple living and inner abundance - Andy Couturier
Ecovillages - Jan Martin Bang
04 September 2011
Labour Day
Today was pretty much an at-home day, which was *FAN*tastic. Not very often the calendar is empty for an entire day.
I am getting the hang of pressure-canning, now having done two batches of baby beets, one batch of whole tomatoes (which ended up looking rather stewed) and two batches of green beans. I'm going to work on the farm tomorrow and am hoping to come home with more produce to 'put up'. I'm inspired by the kitchen cupboards here; they have a great picture of their cupboards with all the canned food inside that i can't find right now on dial-up. :P
There's been a huge shift going on in my perspective lately; I can feel it. I'm noticing that I'm needing to learn some new skills surrounding managing money and finances and also a need to let go and declutter a LOT around here. (must be reading about Voluntary Simplicity that's got me itching to make changes; that, and my pack-rat neighbour is doing some decluttering, and (well, not to be competitive with him or anything, lol, but) i just know that decluttering will open new spaces and opportunities up in our lives... much needed fresh energy.
Speaking of energy, there's the whole Smart Meter program being hurried into implementation in our province. It's really got my hackles up; from the way it's being done, the privacy concerns about the information they will be collecting about my family's energy usage, the mercury switch in the meter (equivalent to 500 CFL lightbulbs in each meter is what I read), having no reasonable opt-out options, the bringing in of wireless technology in a neighbourhood where there currently is none (including no cell phone coverage and dial-up as the main internet option), and where there is no community discussion on whether we *want* this technology forced down our throats... on and on, questions about why Hydro would spend twice the amount of money they expect to save (how is that fiscally responsible of a public utility?), questions about the safety of these smart meters, about appliances going haywire after the installation. I want to know why, when EMFs are classified by the World Health Organization as a Class 2B possible carcinogen in May of this year, why then are Smart Meters being allowed at all. Questions, questions, questions. Yes, I have concerns and I'm not alone. I have enough concerns that I've sent a letter of no-consent to BC Hydro and I support communities around the province who are asking for a moratorium on the installation of these things. I was shocked to learn that neighbours have *already had theirs installed*, several weeks ago. I hear of other neighbourhoods in the greater urban area who are going through installation as well. It's bullocks. Makes me want to go off-grid, big-time.
There's a yahoo group called Parents for Choice which is lobbying against the smart meters. I encourage all parents in BC to join. I hate to say it, but Friday night, when I was at a neighbourhood gathering with 7 other neighbours, and the Smart Meter topic came up for discussion, I was made to feel like a freak for having any concerns at all about them. My concern about EMFs was dismissed flippantly and the subject was quickly changed. It's not JUST the EMFs (although imo that's enough to warrant exercising due consideration before their implementation), it's all the other things I also mentioned above. And more.
Eating Local: we are making such GREAT strides in eating local this year. Working at the farm is making a huge difference as I come home with the excess produce (like 9 lb zucchinis/courgettes, lol). Today the kids had vegetable soup for lunch that was almost entirely local produce in it and dinner was rice and lentils with vegetables and coleslaw (all the veggies were local, and the rice & lentils came from the food co-op in bulk 25 lb quantities, so I felt really good about these meals). The kids continue to eat healthy, whole-food, vegetarian meals, and we're trying to source as much of our food locally as we can.
Generally, I'm spending time lately thinking about where I want to be 5 yrs from now, and realizing that if I don't take action steps now, I won't ever get to that place/goal. So if it starts with decluttering and snowballs from there, awesome. (Goal for September: get that field plowed and plant a cover crop!)
I am woman; hear me roar!
I am getting the hang of pressure-canning, now having done two batches of baby beets, one batch of whole tomatoes (which ended up looking rather stewed) and two batches of green beans. I'm going to work on the farm tomorrow and am hoping to come home with more produce to 'put up'. I'm inspired by the kitchen cupboards here; they have a great picture of their cupboards with all the canned food inside that i can't find right now on dial-up. :P
There's been a huge shift going on in my perspective lately; I can feel it. I'm noticing that I'm needing to learn some new skills surrounding managing money and finances and also a need to let go and declutter a LOT around here. (must be reading about Voluntary Simplicity that's got me itching to make changes; that, and my pack-rat neighbour is doing some decluttering, and (well, not to be competitive with him or anything, lol, but) i just know that decluttering will open new spaces and opportunities up in our lives... much needed fresh energy.
Speaking of energy, there's the whole Smart Meter program being hurried into implementation in our province. It's really got my hackles up; from the way it's being done, the privacy concerns about the information they will be collecting about my family's energy usage, the mercury switch in the meter (equivalent to 500 CFL lightbulbs in each meter is what I read), having no reasonable opt-out options, the bringing in of wireless technology in a neighbourhood where there currently is none (including no cell phone coverage and dial-up as the main internet option), and where there is no community discussion on whether we *want* this technology forced down our throats... on and on, questions about why Hydro would spend twice the amount of money they expect to save (how is that fiscally responsible of a public utility?), questions about the safety of these smart meters, about appliances going haywire after the installation. I want to know why, when EMFs are classified by the World Health Organization as a Class 2B possible carcinogen in May of this year, why then are Smart Meters being allowed at all. Questions, questions, questions. Yes, I have concerns and I'm not alone. I have enough concerns that I've sent a letter of no-consent to BC Hydro and I support communities around the province who are asking for a moratorium on the installation of these things. I was shocked to learn that neighbours have *already had theirs installed*, several weeks ago. I hear of other neighbourhoods in the greater urban area who are going through installation as well. It's bullocks. Makes me want to go off-grid, big-time.
There's a yahoo group called Parents for Choice which is lobbying against the smart meters. I encourage all parents in BC to join. I hate to say it, but Friday night, when I was at a neighbourhood gathering with 7 other neighbours, and the Smart Meter topic came up for discussion, I was made to feel like a freak for having any concerns at all about them. My concern about EMFs was dismissed flippantly and the subject was quickly changed. It's not JUST the EMFs (although imo that's enough to warrant exercising due consideration before their implementation), it's all the other things I also mentioned above. And more.
Eating Local: we are making such GREAT strides in eating local this year. Working at the farm is making a huge difference as I come home with the excess produce (like 9 lb zucchinis/courgettes, lol). Today the kids had vegetable soup for lunch that was almost entirely local produce in it and dinner was rice and lentils with vegetables and coleslaw (all the veggies were local, and the rice & lentils came from the food co-op in bulk 25 lb quantities, so I felt really good about these meals). The kids continue to eat healthy, whole-food, vegetarian meals, and we're trying to source as much of our food locally as we can.
Generally, I'm spending time lately thinking about where I want to be 5 yrs from now, and realizing that if I don't take action steps now, I won't ever get to that place/goal. So if it starts with decluttering and snowballs from there, awesome. (Goal for September: get that field plowed and plant a cover crop!)
I am woman; hear me roar!
02 September 2011
CRACK that whip!
omGOODNESS it's been a busy (and emotional) week... funny how things kinda converge all at once sometimes...
I made ketchup this week. The recipe called for 24 lbs of fresh tomatoes. And the first thing you had to do was peel EVERY one of those tomatoes! wow, that only took 2 hrs! Then a few steps later the instruction read: boil gently, stirring often, until mixture is reduced by half. hmmmm, how long could THAT possibly take... *26 hours* later, the mixture was reduced by half. had the recipe stated that i would have to stir often for 26 hrs i'd probably have rethought the whole thing. but when you've already invested 2 hrs peeling tomatoes (not to mention time growing and harvesting them) and another hr letting it simmer, what's another 26 hrs?!? In the end, the recipe yielded 16 half-pint (250ml) jars = 4L, or basically about 6-8 months of ketchup for our family. note to self - NEXT TIME: USE ROMA TOMATOES. lmao
Other than making the house smell like ketchup, it's just generally been busy. I have had to sit down and look squarely at our schedule, especially with 'school' starting up next week. What are my priorities? Where do I want to be 1 yr from now? What do I need to focus on?
Today, for example, I played hookey from farming to instead clean the house a bit while dh and ds volunteered for the community association. Then we had to drive dh to catch the boat to work, a handful of errands, clean the community hall (ds's job but many hands make light work so we all pitch in), a quick dinner, off to register dd for a class and then tai chi class in the evening. And a whole lotta little things I'm trying to remember ("email so and so", "call so and so", remember this and that). The days are one after another busy right now.
Yep, there are some major changes afoot around here and I'm having to rethink our schedules a bit, trying to pare back but still maintain connections to supportive friends. It's hard because I *love* farming and *love* tai chi but can see that I have to really balance those passions with other priorities in my life, especially being that I'm volunteering with my passions.
I'd write more but it's rather late and I've had too many late nights lately.
hope you understand...
Namaste'
I made ketchup this week. The recipe called for 24 lbs of fresh tomatoes. And the first thing you had to do was peel EVERY one of those tomatoes! wow, that only took 2 hrs! Then a few steps later the instruction read: boil gently, stirring often, until mixture is reduced by half. hmmmm, how long could THAT possibly take... *26 hours* later, the mixture was reduced by half. had the recipe stated that i would have to stir often for 26 hrs i'd probably have rethought the whole thing. but when you've already invested 2 hrs peeling tomatoes (not to mention time growing and harvesting them) and another hr letting it simmer, what's another 26 hrs?!? In the end, the recipe yielded 16 half-pint (250ml) jars = 4L, or basically about 6-8 months of ketchup for our family. note to self - NEXT TIME: USE ROMA TOMATOES. lmao
Other than making the house smell like ketchup, it's just generally been busy. I have had to sit down and look squarely at our schedule, especially with 'school' starting up next week. What are my priorities? Where do I want to be 1 yr from now? What do I need to focus on?
Today, for example, I played hookey from farming to instead clean the house a bit while dh and ds volunteered for the community association. Then we had to drive dh to catch the boat to work, a handful of errands, clean the community hall (ds's job but many hands make light work so we all pitch in), a quick dinner, off to register dd for a class and then tai chi class in the evening. And a whole lotta little things I'm trying to remember ("email so and so", "call so and so", remember this and that). The days are one after another busy right now.
Yep, there are some major changes afoot around here and I'm having to rethink our schedules a bit, trying to pare back but still maintain connections to supportive friends. It's hard because I *love* farming and *love* tai chi but can see that I have to really balance those passions with other priorities in my life, especially being that I'm volunteering with my passions.
I'd write more but it's rather late and I've had too many late nights lately.
hope you understand...
Namaste'
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