today i was sitting with my neighbour chatting, her two girls and my daughter playing together upstairs when one of them squealed, "A pigeon! A pigeon just landed on the roof!" We sometimes, in the spring/summer, have ring-necked doves which look somewhat like large pigeons come and frequent our yard, but this was clearly a city-slickin' pigeon that came to visit today. It had a band on one of it's legs, and hung around the house/yard for 2 hrs before dusk (not sure, it could still be out there).... I was curious what the 'meaning' behind its visit was, and came across this, which I *love*:
The pigeon is the totem of goals, focus, and perseverence. This unassuming bird holds the qualities of home, security, and maternal instincts. Those with this totem have often experienced unsettling childhoods and are constantly challenged to find security and clarity in all areas of their lives. The pigeon totem assists us to find the stability and home that has been lost to us in the past. The pigeon's gift to us is the ability to accomplish through our attunement with nature. If a pigeon has come to you, its message is to set clear goals and to keep your sights and sensitivities focused on where you want to be. Do not be concerned with HOW you will get there, only how it will look or be when you arrive.
Thanks to this site for the beautifully-written info! :D
29 January 2010
25 January 2010
Growth
We had salad mix from our local CSA today, and amongst the leafy green goodness that was in it were pea shoots... that we just loooooooooove. Which reminded me of the forthcoming spring, of the increasing light of each day, of new growth... of personal growth.
I have a friend who just finished radiation treatments for breast cancer on Thursday. Thirty treatments over the past 6 weeks. We celebrated her final treatment, and something she said to me afterwards really hit home: "As you go through life, you've got to open your mind up and be continually learning, seeking new experiences, and growing. Because if you're not growing, you're stagnating. And if you're stagnating, you're dying." Her positive attitude and willingness to embrace life throughout the past several months has been truly awe-inspiring.
Someone said to me today that I tend to talk myself out of my goals. I didn't realize that's what I was doing, and it really helped to have someone articulate for me what I (unconsconsciously) must do: sabotage my own success. [What would I do in this moment, if I knew I could not fail?] I need to fully embrace my goals, own them, actualize them. I hear the self-doubt sooooooo often - the little voice that says I have nothing worth sharing with the world, that I'm just "little ol' me" - woe's me.
So tonight, when I realized I was beginning to spiral into the negative thinking of self-doubt and self-loathing, I sprang from the bed (before my mind could weasle it's way out of it), turned the light on, and did a set of tai chi. It felt wonderful to melt into the moment. Afterwards, I gave thanks for the healing energy, and then, I looked at myself in the mirror, smiled, and said, "I love you. You are worthy. I love you unconditionally. You are loved. You are lovable. You are loving." I smiled to myself as I said this, taking the time to really see the laugh lines, the wrinkles, the grey hair. I tried to see me as others see me, because it seems like it's sometimes easier for others to love me than it is for me to love myself - everyone else seems to accept that I have increasing amounts of grey hair, so why shouldn't I also fully embrace and accept me as I am in this moment? I looked at myself in the mirror and felt beautiful.
I have a friend who just finished radiation treatments for breast cancer on Thursday. Thirty treatments over the past 6 weeks. We celebrated her final treatment, and something she said to me afterwards really hit home: "As you go through life, you've got to open your mind up and be continually learning, seeking new experiences, and growing. Because if you're not growing, you're stagnating. And if you're stagnating, you're dying." Her positive attitude and willingness to embrace life throughout the past several months has been truly awe-inspiring.
Someone said to me today that I tend to talk myself out of my goals. I didn't realize that's what I was doing, and it really helped to have someone articulate for me what I (unconsconsciously) must do: sabotage my own success. [What would I do in this moment, if I knew I could not fail?] I need to fully embrace my goals, own them, actualize them. I hear the self-doubt sooooooo often - the little voice that says I have nothing worth sharing with the world, that I'm just "little ol' me" - woe's me.
So tonight, when I realized I was beginning to spiral into the negative thinking of self-doubt and self-loathing, I sprang from the bed (before my mind could weasle it's way out of it), turned the light on, and did a set of tai chi. It felt wonderful to melt into the moment. Afterwards, I gave thanks for the healing energy, and then, I looked at myself in the mirror, smiled, and said, "I love you. You are worthy. I love you unconditionally. You are loved. You are lovable. You are loving." I smiled to myself as I said this, taking the time to really see the laugh lines, the wrinkles, the grey hair. I tried to see me as others see me, because it seems like it's sometimes easier for others to love me than it is for me to love myself - everyone else seems to accept that I have increasing amounts of grey hair, so why shouldn't I also fully embrace and accept me as I am in this moment? I looked at myself in the mirror and felt beautiful.
23 January 2010
addiction
Am I off-base when I think that, to some degree, nearly everyone struggles with some form of addiction? whether it's alcohol, drugs, codependent behaviour, food, obsessive compulsiveness, internet or computers or gaming or any number of behaviours or issues... it seems like many, MANY people struggle with something in their lives.
how many of us are truly able to set aside our struggles, for even a moment, when we're in the presence of another being, to be fully present in the relationship/interaction/conversation? how many of us are able to do that consistently?
and when we're in a conversation where something said rubs us the wrong way, how many of us are able to, first of all, not take it personally, and secondly, recognize that a person who says something that seems offensive is (possibly) hurting and seeking deeper connection, and third, how many of us are able to hold the sacred space open and remain connected to Spirit ourselves in that challenging moment?! And isn't that what Life is asking us to do? Isn't that the ultimate gift that we can give to each other... All that's required is a deep breath and some mindful awareness and deep compassion? How many of us truly remember that each and every moment... this moment, is truly sacred? After all, it's the only moment we've got.
All too often it's easier said than done. But truly, we're collectively waking up. We're sharing with each other, we're learning to communicate deeply, we're becoming really present in our conversations. Synchronicities are exploding, flow is happening, and it's beginning to snowball. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.
how many of us are truly able to set aside our struggles, for even a moment, when we're in the presence of another being, to be fully present in the relationship/interaction/conversation? how many of us are able to do that consistently?
and when we're in a conversation where something said rubs us the wrong way, how many of us are able to, first of all, not take it personally, and secondly, recognize that a person who says something that seems offensive is (possibly) hurting and seeking deeper connection, and third, how many of us are able to hold the sacred space open and remain connected to Spirit ourselves in that challenging moment?! And isn't that what Life is asking us to do? Isn't that the ultimate gift that we can give to each other... All that's required is a deep breath and some mindful awareness and deep compassion? How many of us truly remember that each and every moment... this moment, is truly sacred? After all, it's the only moment we've got.
All too often it's easier said than done. But truly, we're collectively waking up. We're sharing with each other, we're learning to communicate deeply, we're becoming really present in our conversations. Synchronicities are exploding, flow is happening, and it's beginning to snowball. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.
22 January 2010
food
One of the things we did yesterday was go grocery shopping. Our cupboards were, in my opinion, getting a little bare (just call me Old Mother Hubbard, lol). Actually, shopping yesterday made me think a lot about why I surround myself with food... why is it that I need full cupboards before I feel secure, safe. Why is it I need access to food? And am I the only one who's like this???? What would it be like for me to live with only the food I was going to eat today, or this week, in the house.... no stockpile of goji berries or maca powder, or flax crackers and raw almond butter in the house. makes me anxious just thinking about it. :s
Part of it is that I have hang-ups with food scarcity. Maybe in a past life I starved to death, I don't know. I can tell you that since being born (and yes, this is a 'racket', to use that terminology (if you're familiar with it) I tell myself, a story I hang onto about myself, that yes, I could choose at any time here to just let go of), I have been really really hung up on having food around me... specifically, like, overeating. As an infant I apparently used to suck that bottle dry in less than a minute. My mom said it was like I was constantly starving. I'd inhale the pablum. I'd scarf whatever food you put in front of me. This is how I felt it was growing up... I never ever had free access to food, to choose what or more importantly, how much, to eat. It was as though food was withheld from me (in my 'best interests') - and yet, by mealtime, I'd be sooooo hungry and I'd eat so quickly (and without thought or mindfulness/conscious intent). I remember being put on my first diet at 13. And then of course the cycle of dieting begins. My 20s were spent obese. Now in my 30s I feel like veganism, and specifically raw veganism, is giving me healing, yet I'm still not completely there.
I said to dh yesterday that if you were to ask me what weight I'd like to be, it would be, ironically, the lowest weight I've ever been as an adult, which, incidentally, I only hit after being sick for 2 weeks with a nasty kidney infection when I was 18. WHY do I still think that is an acceptable weight for me? Seriously. How warped is it that in my mind, my ideal weight requires me to be violently ill for several weeks to reach it, let alone how would I maintain that?!? LMAO Not to mention why do I think a weight I haven't been since I was 18 is a reasonable goal to attain in my 30s... (someone needs some t-h-e-r-a-p-y)
I really want to juice feast again... 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, who knows how long. There is an incredible freedom when you're feasting - and maybe I'd experience that if I'd just make a food plan (as opposed to a food log) and stick with it on a daily basis. I figure if I was feasting I'd be free from the options of what to eat... it would be juice, and then... more juice. :D And maybe I'd be able to sort through a lot of this baggage?
I'm still working my way through Raw Emotions, an incredibly helpful book by raw diva, Angela Stokes-Monarch. I guess with deep seated issues like mine around food, it's going to take a while.
Part of it is that I have hang-ups with food scarcity. Maybe in a past life I starved to death, I don't know. I can tell you that since being born (and yes, this is a 'racket', to use that terminology (if you're familiar with it) I tell myself, a story I hang onto about myself, that yes, I could choose at any time here to just let go of), I have been really really hung up on having food around me... specifically, like, overeating. As an infant I apparently used to suck that bottle dry in less than a minute. My mom said it was like I was constantly starving. I'd inhale the pablum. I'd scarf whatever food you put in front of me. This is how I felt it was growing up... I never ever had free access to food, to choose what or more importantly, how much, to eat. It was as though food was withheld from me (in my 'best interests') - and yet, by mealtime, I'd be sooooo hungry and I'd eat so quickly (and without thought or mindfulness/conscious intent). I remember being put on my first diet at 13. And then of course the cycle of dieting begins. My 20s were spent obese. Now in my 30s I feel like veganism, and specifically raw veganism, is giving me healing, yet I'm still not completely there.
I said to dh yesterday that if you were to ask me what weight I'd like to be, it would be, ironically, the lowest weight I've ever been as an adult, which, incidentally, I only hit after being sick for 2 weeks with a nasty kidney infection when I was 18. WHY do I still think that is an acceptable weight for me? Seriously. How warped is it that in my mind, my ideal weight requires me to be violently ill for several weeks to reach it, let alone how would I maintain that?!? LMAO Not to mention why do I think a weight I haven't been since I was 18 is a reasonable goal to attain in my 30s... (someone needs some t-h-e-r-a-p-y)
I really want to juice feast again... 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, who knows how long. There is an incredible freedom when you're feasting - and maybe I'd experience that if I'd just make a food plan (as opposed to a food log) and stick with it on a daily basis. I figure if I was feasting I'd be free from the options of what to eat... it would be juice, and then... more juice. :D And maybe I'd be able to sort through a lot of this baggage?
I'm still working my way through Raw Emotions, an incredibly helpful book by raw diva, Angela Stokes-Monarch. I guess with deep seated issues like mine around food, it's going to take a while.
21 January 2010
whoosh.... there it goes.
Wow, have the days ever been FLYING by... and yet, not. A bit of a paradox... Today was insanely busy with things to get done and yet everything got one, and there was a real calm about the whole day, even though it was packed with errands.
I'm totally excited about the new set of beginner tai chi classes starting up... I have 19 students registered, and hopefully another couple/few coming, which would be absolutely fantastic.
And seeing as I have to be at class in less than 12 hrs, I'm off to bed.
I'm totally excited about the new set of beginner tai chi classes starting up... I have 19 students registered, and hopefully another couple/few coming, which would be absolutely fantastic.
And seeing as I have to be at class in less than 12 hrs, I'm off to bed.
16 January 2010
Tai Chi
I am a volunteer Taoist Tai Chi (Internal Arts & Methods) Beginner Instructor, and today our branch held an open house (demo and free try-it class) in three different locations to advertise upcoming classes.
I have been taking tai chi classes for over just over 4 years now and have noticed many benefits. Tai chi is accessible to all; no matter how old or young you are, no matter what your fitness level, tai chi is a form of gentle exercise that is beneficial to all. While the graceful, slow movements may not look like they're doing much, trust me: they are. Many people with health issues such as MS, arthritis, osteoporosis, cancer, and many other issues have all found tai chi to improve their health. Even people in wheelchairs are able to adapt tai chi to do a sitting set. It really is something everyone can do. Tai chi is a widely popular form of exercise, and is practiced by many many people throughout the world.
I first started because I remember seeing the older Chinese gentlemen practicing in the early mornings in the parks of the city. I took a set of classes when I was in my late teens at a health club, but never continued practicing. At 30, I attended an open house like our club held today, and signed up for the beginner set of classes... and it's been ongoing ever since.
My Thursday night class is sacrilege. I try hard not to miss it, even driving 100 km roundtrip to drop kids off for childcare so i can take advantage of the class. (if that's not dedication...) I *love* what I get out of tai chi.
I have been taking tai chi classes for over just over 4 years now and have noticed many benefits. Tai chi is accessible to all; no matter how old or young you are, no matter what your fitness level, tai chi is a form of gentle exercise that is beneficial to all. While the graceful, slow movements may not look like they're doing much, trust me: they are. Many people with health issues such as MS, arthritis, osteoporosis, cancer, and many other issues have all found tai chi to improve their health. Even people in wheelchairs are able to adapt tai chi to do a sitting set. It really is something everyone can do. Tai chi is a widely popular form of exercise, and is practiced by many many people throughout the world.
I first started because I remember seeing the older Chinese gentlemen practicing in the early mornings in the parks of the city. I took a set of classes when I was in my late teens at a health club, but never continued practicing. At 30, I attended an open house like our club held today, and signed up for the beginner set of classes... and it's been ongoing ever since.
My Thursday night class is sacrilege. I try hard not to miss it, even driving 100 km roundtrip to drop kids off for childcare so i can take advantage of the class. (if that's not dedication...) I *love* what I get out of tai chi.
- I have more flexibility, both in body and mind.
- I have better balance, again, not only in my physical body but also in my life overall.
- I have amazing focus while practicing tai chi; I get into the zone. I'm able to set aside anything that's on my mind and be fully present. I don't have to wear any of the hats I so often wear throughout the day; I can just be... no one expects anything of me. I'm just there.
- We practice silently, which means I don't have to explain myself to anyone. I can just be in the group, co-creating a beautiful synergy with those around me.
- Practicing tai chi massages my internal organs, increases circulation, and also aids in the circulation of lymph in the body.
- Tai chi has helped me become more fully aware of my body - the slow movements allow me to feel every vertebrae moving, or where my hand is in space, relative to the rest of my body... very helpful.
- There is a strong sense of community, incredible bonding that happens between tai chi'ers that is really hard to describe.
If you're at all curious, check out the website - www.taoist.org and see if there's a class near you.
15 January 2010
New Moon with a Solar Eclipse
Two weeks ago, on New Year's Eve, we had a Full Moon with a lunar eclipse. Now we have a new moon with a solar eclipse. (I wonder how often those two happen back-to-back like that?)
In case you're curious, the new moon is at 11:11 p.m. PST and the eclipse at 11:06 p.m. on Thursday the 14th.
"this new moon solar eclipse in capricorn helps us learn more about ourselves and what we want out of life. Developing our own personal faith will help to sustain us while we are evolving and becoming the person we wish to be. It will enable us to maintain important personal values while eliminating worn-out beliefs that hinder our growth."
Other things I read:
- let old paths go and choose completely new and unique ones!
- accept unavoidable responsibilities, then choose highly creative methods to visualize ways to manifest new things!
- consider your core creative values; how you change yourself will ultimately change your world (our individual healing is actually a collective issue)
- this is a new moon for "re-setting your centre of gravity", for contemplating major life changes.
- live more authentically.
In case you're curious, the new moon is at 11:11 p.m. PST and the eclipse at 11:06 p.m. on Thursday the 14th.
"this new moon solar eclipse in capricorn helps us learn more about ourselves and what we want out of life. Developing our own personal faith will help to sustain us while we are evolving and becoming the person we wish to be. It will enable us to maintain important personal values while eliminating worn-out beliefs that hinder our growth."
Other things I read:
- let old paths go and choose completely new and unique ones!
- accept unavoidable responsibilities, then choose highly creative methods to visualize ways to manifest new things!
- consider your core creative values; how you change yourself will ultimately change your world (our individual healing is actually a collective issue)
- this is a new moon for "re-setting your centre of gravity", for contemplating major life changes.
- live more authentically.
Thursday
Seriously, not to get all Pollyanna-ish on you, but CAN LIFE GET ANY BETTER?!?! Today was *bliss*.
I woke up early, had a refreshing shower and made myself a green juice, and ds and I finished off a Risk boardgame started yesterday (3 HOURS this morning!!) - get that brain strategizing! In the afternoon I scrubbed one of the bathrooms down (the essential oils leave it smelling so FRESH, you just keep going back in for no reason at all other than to enjoy the freshness of it!!), did other housework, and exercised. The kids had piano lessons and then I had a tai chi class tonight. And now I'm finishing off the day with a hot bath and a Reiki session!
I lovingly nourished myself today with:
- 2c of green juice (an entire bunch of spinach, ginger, and apple)
- as much water with fresh organic lime slices as I wished
- a bowl of raw muesli with sliced banana and raw sesame milk (raw muesli: soaked and dried oat groats, soaked & dried buckwheat, raisins, dried mango, shredded organic coconut, pumpkin and sunflower and flax seeds, a couple walnuts, goji berries...)
- about 1L of sesame milkshake with banana and some cacao nibs and soaked seeds and camu berry powder
- 3 brazil nuts
- 2 bananas and a handful of dried banana chips (i'm part-monkey?!)
- 1/2c of fresh OJ
geez, that's less than I normally eat! have i forgotten something?! ;)
absolutely *LOVE* when life flows like it did today. everything was effortless and without struggle. and that is the true essence of it all, isn't it? isn't that the way life *is* and then we humans go and ego gets involved and suddenly there are obstacles and challenges and hurdles to overcome and so on? but really, at the core of it all, if we can just breathe into it... life simply *is*.
And tonight we experience the new moon, and what a better way to celebrate than to enjoy this moment of life? Because you never know how many more moments you're going to be blessed with... :D (that's why it's perfectly okay to spend 3 hrs playing a boardgame with your son rather than anything else you think might be necessary to do right then. Because in that moment, time spent engaging with your child *IS* the most important thing to do. You'll never get that moment back. So cherish it.)
I woke up early, had a refreshing shower and made myself a green juice, and ds and I finished off a Risk boardgame started yesterday (3 HOURS this morning!!) - get that brain strategizing! In the afternoon I scrubbed one of the bathrooms down (the essential oils leave it smelling so FRESH, you just keep going back in for no reason at all other than to enjoy the freshness of it!!), did other housework, and exercised. The kids had piano lessons and then I had a tai chi class tonight. And now I'm finishing off the day with a hot bath and a Reiki session!
I lovingly nourished myself today with:
- 2c of green juice (an entire bunch of spinach, ginger, and apple)
- as much water with fresh organic lime slices as I wished
- a bowl of raw muesli with sliced banana and raw sesame milk (raw muesli: soaked and dried oat groats, soaked & dried buckwheat, raisins, dried mango, shredded organic coconut, pumpkin and sunflower and flax seeds, a couple walnuts, goji berries...)
- about 1L of sesame milkshake with banana and some cacao nibs and soaked seeds and camu berry powder
- 3 brazil nuts
- 2 bananas and a handful of dried banana chips (i'm part-monkey?!)
- 1/2c of fresh OJ
geez, that's less than I normally eat! have i forgotten something?! ;)
absolutely *LOVE* when life flows like it did today. everything was effortless and without struggle. and that is the true essence of it all, isn't it? isn't that the way life *is* and then we humans go and ego gets involved and suddenly there are obstacles and challenges and hurdles to overcome and so on? but really, at the core of it all, if we can just breathe into it... life simply *is*.
And tonight we experience the new moon, and what a better way to celebrate than to enjoy this moment of life? Because you never know how many more moments you're going to be blessed with... :D (that's why it's perfectly okay to spend 3 hrs playing a boardgame with your son rather than anything else you think might be necessary to do right then. Because in that moment, time spent engaging with your child *IS* the most important thing to do. You'll never get that moment back. So cherish it.)
13 January 2010
Wednesday
Today has been lovely. :D The children had friends over in the afternoon - dd went to her friends after a bit and jumped on the trampoline over there, ds and his three friends and I all played Risk, the boardgame (of world domination, lol)... which, if you've ever played it, you *know* it can take HOURS to complete. it's slightly insane, if you're not into playing boardgames, lol. But ds *loves* boardgames and will happily play Risk every single day the past couple weeks. (note to self: post on community homeschooling list to find other people interested in playing with him! lol)
In the evening we attended a community association meeting. Keeping in mind we live in a rural community of about 400 people, there was still only 10 adults and 2 children in attendance at the meeting. A meagre turnout. Still, business was attended to and we shall meet again in Spring. I actually like going to the meetings; you keep abreast of community happenings and it just builds a sense of connection to the community when you involve yourself at this local level. And I like to bring my children along, to witness how community meetings operate, to find out about what's happening and form their own opinions about things. One thing that's happening, for example, is that a developer in the area has installed a tower on his property and is intending to bring high-speed internet - broadband, actually - to the neighbourhood during 2010! You can just imagine how tickled pink many residents are about this - no more dial-up, no more phone lines plugged by computer usage, not to mention the high speed of internet access... AND rumour has it they are also bringing cable tv out this way, too. (see, i knew if we stayed here long enough this would happen)
Me, I'm rather torn. Being on dial-up can be a pain, to be sure, but cable tv? No thanks, and up 'til now, not even having it as an option in the neighbourhood has been an easy reason for not having it in our house. Me thinks having cable access as close as the end of the driveway is going to cause me to have to drum up a better excuse than "Cuz I don't want it in my house - period." against the other 3 occupants of this house. They go to houses with cable and are sooooooo all about the tv. harumph. i don't want it. i don't want it. i don't want it. buwahahaha (sheds tear)
yep, i'm gonna have to think long and hard and articulate some pretty good arguments against television. the library actually has a book on exactly this; i'm going to go request it online right now. ;)
In the evening we attended a community association meeting. Keeping in mind we live in a rural community of about 400 people, there was still only 10 adults and 2 children in attendance at the meeting. A meagre turnout. Still, business was attended to and we shall meet again in Spring. I actually like going to the meetings; you keep abreast of community happenings and it just builds a sense of connection to the community when you involve yourself at this local level. And I like to bring my children along, to witness how community meetings operate, to find out about what's happening and form their own opinions about things. One thing that's happening, for example, is that a developer in the area has installed a tower on his property and is intending to bring high-speed internet - broadband, actually - to the neighbourhood during 2010! You can just imagine how tickled pink many residents are about this - no more dial-up, no more phone lines plugged by computer usage, not to mention the high speed of internet access... AND rumour has it they are also bringing cable tv out this way, too. (see, i knew if we stayed here long enough this would happen)
Me, I'm rather torn. Being on dial-up can be a pain, to be sure, but cable tv? No thanks, and up 'til now, not even having it as an option in the neighbourhood has been an easy reason for not having it in our house. Me thinks having cable access as close as the end of the driveway is going to cause me to have to drum up a better excuse than "Cuz I don't want it in my house - period." against the other 3 occupants of this house. They go to houses with cable and are sooooooo all about the tv. harumph. i don't want it. i don't want it. i don't want it. buwahahaha (sheds tear)
yep, i'm gonna have to think long and hard and articulate some pretty good arguments against television. the library actually has a book on exactly this; i'm going to go request it online right now. ;)
12 January 2010
Tuesday
Nothing much exciting going on here today. dh got called in for overtime nightshift, which meant he had to commute 6 hrs to work this afternoon and then will work 12 hrs tonight, after waking up at an indecent early hour this morning. Seriously, this guy sacrificies soooooooo much for his family! We are so blessed to have his support. (no, I'm not buttering him up; he doesn't read my blog... i don't think, lol)
i went to tai chi class this morning which was really nice. i, too, woke up very early this morning (4:30) and gave myself a Reiki session before falling back asleep by dawn.
i'm still revelling in the space that has physically re-appeared in the house since de-cluttering the laundry room and passing on the old stove. our kitchen looks HUGE and i *love* going in the laundry room again. lol Now i need to start on the corner of the living room this next week. (boxes EVERYWHERE filled with STUFF).
i have been REALLY enjoying sesame milk 'milkshakes' lately: raw sesame milk, a banana, some ice and some non-alcoholic homemade vanilla extract. deeeeeeelicious. sometimes i've added raw cocoa powder as well for a change. we're putting together a raw food order and i'm hoping some money will manifest itself as i'd like to order more seeds (sesame, flax, chia, hemp) - they're much cheaper than nuts - and some other things like maca powder, goji berries, agave nectar and coconut oil. ***sending abundance & prosperity vibes out into the universe***
i have managed to motivate myself to row the past couple days. two days ago i rowed 2.5 kms, yesterday 3 kms, today 3.5 kms. it's not a monumental commitment: 2.5 kms only takes about 12 or 13 minutes, but still, it's moving beyond the procrastination that is truly heroic. (i'm sure you know that feeling). i plan on being back up to 5 kms within the next few days and then, depending on how sustainable i'm thinking 5 kms a day will be, i *may* go beyond 5 and shoot for 10 kms a day like i did when i first went vegan (apr 06 to dec 06 i rowed 10 kms a day, 6 days a week, CONSISTENTLY, which is the key... if you can't exercise consistently, you'll not see the results you seek, imo). we'll see. i think part of why i stopped rowing 10 kms a day was i got to a point where i was no longer enjoying it, or getting the benefits i sought. so i'll aim for 5 kms a day and we'll go from there.
what i do know is that i am about the same size, or maybe half a size larger, than i was at the end of august. in september i completed a 30 day juicefeast and dropped two sizes or so. but in early october i did not end the feast well - not well at all - and since then i have also not been exercising daily and well, it shows. i don't obsess about my weight; i try not to mention it. but what i *do* notice is that i have lost muscle definition since stopping my daily exercise habit. that's the biggest thing, and i'd like to get more toned again. so exercise it is. :D
that's all for now. have a most enjoyable, relaxing evening and restful, rejuvenative sleep tonight.
Namaste
~n~
i went to tai chi class this morning which was really nice. i, too, woke up very early this morning (4:30) and gave myself a Reiki session before falling back asleep by dawn.
i'm still revelling in the space that has physically re-appeared in the house since de-cluttering the laundry room and passing on the old stove. our kitchen looks HUGE and i *love* going in the laundry room again. lol Now i need to start on the corner of the living room this next week. (boxes EVERYWHERE filled with STUFF).
i have been REALLY enjoying sesame milk 'milkshakes' lately: raw sesame milk, a banana, some ice and some non-alcoholic homemade vanilla extract. deeeeeeelicious. sometimes i've added raw cocoa powder as well for a change. we're putting together a raw food order and i'm hoping some money will manifest itself as i'd like to order more seeds (sesame, flax, chia, hemp) - they're much cheaper than nuts - and some other things like maca powder, goji berries, agave nectar and coconut oil. ***sending abundance & prosperity vibes out into the universe***
i have managed to motivate myself to row the past couple days. two days ago i rowed 2.5 kms, yesterday 3 kms, today 3.5 kms. it's not a monumental commitment: 2.5 kms only takes about 12 or 13 minutes, but still, it's moving beyond the procrastination that is truly heroic. (i'm sure you know that feeling). i plan on being back up to 5 kms within the next few days and then, depending on how sustainable i'm thinking 5 kms a day will be, i *may* go beyond 5 and shoot for 10 kms a day like i did when i first went vegan (apr 06 to dec 06 i rowed 10 kms a day, 6 days a week, CONSISTENTLY, which is the key... if you can't exercise consistently, you'll not see the results you seek, imo). we'll see. i think part of why i stopped rowing 10 kms a day was i got to a point where i was no longer enjoying it, or getting the benefits i sought. so i'll aim for 5 kms a day and we'll go from there.
what i do know is that i am about the same size, or maybe half a size larger, than i was at the end of august. in september i completed a 30 day juicefeast and dropped two sizes or so. but in early october i did not end the feast well - not well at all - and since then i have also not been exercising daily and well, it shows. i don't obsess about my weight; i try not to mention it. but what i *do* notice is that i have lost muscle definition since stopping my daily exercise habit. that's the biggest thing, and i'd like to get more toned again. so exercise it is. :D
that's all for now. have a most enjoyable, relaxing evening and restful, rejuvenative sleep tonight.
Namaste
~n~
10 January 2010
On My Bookshelf...
Here's what I'm currently reading (yes, simultaneously reading all these books):
- The Basics of Reiki (Penelope Quest)
- Your Money or Your Life (Vicki Robin & Joe Dominguez)
- Everyday Blessings: The inner work of mindful parenting (Myla & Jon Kabat-Zinn) - at least my 2nd time through this book
- The Gift of Change (Marianne Williamson)
- A Complaint Free World (Will Bowen)
- transformation at the base (Thich Nhat Hanh)
- Emotional Freedom: liberate yourself from negative emotions and transform your life (Judith Orloff)
- The Sevenfold Journey - reclaiming mind, body & spirit through the chakras (Anodea Judith & Selene Vega)
- Sacred Places of a Lifetime - national geographic
- Fatal Harvest: the tragedy of industrial agriculture - HIGHLY recommend it, if for nothing else than the telling photos of industrial and agrarian farming side by side. Truly, in a comparison of images, you quickly see the folly of industrial mono-cropping and the abundance and blessings inherent in organic, sustainable, small-scale farms. Fascinating book.
30-days of self-healing
I'm in the midst of 30 days of self-healing with Reiki. If you're unfamiliar with the idea, essentially I have committed to giving myself Reiki on the majority of the days over this month - 30 mins to an hour or more each day.
I'm on Day 5 and I'm continually surprised at how the Reiki energy manifests in my daily life. Yesterday, (and while you may not see the connection, I certainly do) I cleaned out - seriously de-cluttered - our laundry room, which doubles as a recycling room. I removed 4 blue bags of recycling, a blue bin, four boxes of items to go to Goodwill, and one bag of garbage (old lightbulbs and stuff; we don't get garbage pick-up so items like this just get stored aside until they accumulate enough to warrant a trip to the garbage drop-off/dump). Also got a call from someone who wanted our old stove/oven and they came and picked it up yesterday. I couldn't believe it - it had been sitting in the middle of our kitchen for over a month, with not one phone call, and as soon as I started this month of self-healing, things like this have started to resolve themselves, creating much-needed clarity and space in my life!
I'm not surprised by how I tend to fall asleep in the middle of a session, especially if the session is right before bed!! It's so very very relaxing!!! I try to give myself the session earlier in the day, or in the bathtub (although I've very nearly fallen asleep in there before, too!).
I don't know where exactly this month of self-healing will take me, in terms of personal growth, but I am committed to the journey. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this concept of 30-days of self-healing. :)
Namaste
I'm on Day 5 and I'm continually surprised at how the Reiki energy manifests in my daily life. Yesterday, (and while you may not see the connection, I certainly do) I cleaned out - seriously de-cluttered - our laundry room, which doubles as a recycling room. I removed 4 blue bags of recycling, a blue bin, four boxes of items to go to Goodwill, and one bag of garbage (old lightbulbs and stuff; we don't get garbage pick-up so items like this just get stored aside until they accumulate enough to warrant a trip to the garbage drop-off/dump). Also got a call from someone who wanted our old stove/oven and they came and picked it up yesterday. I couldn't believe it - it had been sitting in the middle of our kitchen for over a month, with not one phone call, and as soon as I started this month of self-healing, things like this have started to resolve themselves, creating much-needed clarity and space in my life!
I'm not surprised by how I tend to fall asleep in the middle of a session, especially if the session is right before bed!! It's so very very relaxing!!! I try to give myself the session earlier in the day, or in the bathtub (although I've very nearly fallen asleep in there before, too!).
I don't know where exactly this month of self-healing will take me, in terms of personal growth, but I am committed to the journey. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this concept of 30-days of self-healing. :)
Namaste
horoscope
(aquarius' 2010 horoscope by georgia nichols. get yours here):
"Oh, how the money rolls in!" In the next 18 months, you will boost your earnings. You'll certainly boost your assets. You're going to feel richer, even if you have to buy the stuff. Your cash flow will increase in both directions. At a subtle level, what's happening is that you have the ability to materialize or actualize what it is you most value. Ironically, it might not even be related to money and stuff. What you might increase in your life is independence, justice, or some other valued attribute. What's happening is you're going to enrich your life this year -- and next!
let's just review my resolutions for the year:
- be of service, for the greatest good of all
- attitude of gratitude
- daily exercise (rowing, tai chi, cycling, walking/hiking)
- renewed commitment to raw vegan living foods
- develop and explore more interests
- self-care and personal growth, greater health - Reiki, meditation
- time spent with family
- abundance and prosperity
Looks like it's shaping up to be a grand year! :D
"Oh, how the money rolls in!" In the next 18 months, you will boost your earnings. You'll certainly boost your assets. You're going to feel richer, even if you have to buy the stuff. Your cash flow will increase in both directions. At a subtle level, what's happening is that you have the ability to materialize or actualize what it is you most value. Ironically, it might not even be related to money and stuff. What you might increase in your life is independence, justice, or some other valued attribute. What's happening is you're going to enrich your life this year -- and next!
let's just review my resolutions for the year:
- be of service, for the greatest good of all
- attitude of gratitude
- daily exercise (rowing, tai chi, cycling, walking/hiking)
- renewed commitment to raw vegan living foods
- develop and explore more interests
- self-care and personal growth, greater health - Reiki, meditation
- time spent with family
- abundance and prosperity
Looks like it's shaping up to be a grand year! :D
07 January 2010
...and then there were 10
Came home tonight after tai chi class... it was close to 11 p.m., and when I went to lock the hens in for the night, I quickly realized I needed to do a headcount... there were feathers strewn all over the pen. We are one hen short tonight. It appears a predator dug under the gate. I am so very very grateful that only one hen is gone (a mink would've killed them all - quickly. I'm wondering if it was a raccoon?). Tomorrow I'll be doing some serious reinforcement under that gate!! I'm not sure which hen is gone - probably the one who was always last to go in... I'm really not sure. But I *am* a little shaken. When I was driving to pick up the kids after class, I had a thought (shortly after 9 p.m.) that the chickens were in danger and I was going to be met with a bloodbath at home. I discredited that thought - ohhhh, you always think something's going to happen, I told myself. That's my higher Self trying to communicate, though. It's happened before - these seemingly random thoughts *pop* into my head, and I quickly discredit them, but they're so out-of-the-blue that I can tell you exactly what I was doing, where I was, when I received the message. In this case, even listening to my intuition wasn't about to stop what happened. Just sad, that's all.
And so tonight I honour and respect the life of our brave little hen.
06 January 2010
Crop Circles: Sacred Art
(sorry, some of the images below are cut off on the right side, and being on dial-up internet, i'm not going to try and fix it.)
I have been interested in the phenomenon of crop circles for some time now and have spent time this past week reading up on them. The children and I watched "Crop Circles: Quest for Truth" (William Gazecki). I am soooooo intrigued by these things. Sure, I think some might be hoaxed, but the majority I don't believe are. The mathematics behind them - the geometry - is so complex. How do you hoax that?
This one was near Stonehenge, if I'm not mistaken... this field is on the top of a hill... I think it has something like 409 circles:
One thing that was in the video was a comment that the circles are like sacred art... and the temporary nature of them... also intrigues me. They're here, in our world, for all to see - few can deny they exist (it's who made them that may cause argument) - for only a few weeks or maybe months before the crop gets harvested.
I am really intrigued by the research - the bent and exploded nodes of some stalks, the microscopic magnetic particles on the crops, the seed germination rates (changes between seeds harvested from inside the circle and control seeds), that they often form on the edges of receding aquifers... there's just so much... it's fascinating. :)
And how are they made? What about the balls of light theory? Is it our collective unconscious? Is it an interaction between a higher intelligent force that's out there and ourselves? Is it extraterrestrials? Will we ever know? Do we need to know, to appreciate the beauty of the crop circle? Someone in the video said when we view a crop circle there are so many harmonies, at deep levels... it's pleasing, a thing of natural beauty. We're drawn to it.
All of the following images came from a quick Google Image search, so you'll forgive me if I haven't added the original link to each. If you want to find it, it should be easy enough to find:
This one was near Stonehenge, if I'm not mistaken... this field is on the top of a hill... I think it has something like 409 circles:05 January 2010
Sleep, where are you?!
good grief. i can't count how many late nights (lmao i just wrote 'light' instead of 'late') there've been in my life lately, and not b/c i'm up partying or have had any caffeine. nope, none of that. just that i get so inspired late at night to get things done, reading, or researching different interests on the 'net, next thing you know it's the middle of the night and i'm not asleep!
of course, this means i've been sleeping in, too. usually i'm a jump up and go at first light, but with these late nights, my internal clock's all wonky. i've simply GOT to reset it soon!
so with that, i bid you a good night... maybe i'll have time later to post again today... after all, there's still 21 hrs left in the day!! lol
~n~
of course, this means i've been sleeping in, too. usually i'm a jump up and go at first light, but with these late nights, my internal clock's all wonky. i've simply GOT to reset it soon!
so with that, i bid you a good night... maybe i'll have time later to post again today... after all, there's still 21 hrs left in the day!! lol
~n~
03 January 2010
powerful!
well, i just want to say that the full moon the other night had some incredibly magical energy! ;)
the new year is going very well. i just know it's going to be a year of dramatic changes in our lives... all for the best, but i can sense some challenges ahead, too, and lots of growth.
i guess that's all for now; it's late and i've been staying up far too late lately, lol.
namaste'
the new year is going very well. i just know it's going to be a year of dramatic changes in our lives... all for the best, but i can sense some challenges ahead, too, and lots of growth.
i guess that's all for now; it's late and i've been staying up far too late lately, lol.
namaste'
01 January 2010
Resolutions
I've had a number of vague thoughts floating around my head lately... feelings, sensations, intuitions, more than clear, articulate thoughts on the topic of resolutions. I don't try to hatch them out before they're ready; no, best to let them come along on their own time...
And well, now is the time! Welcome to 2010, a new decade!!
What will we do with the next 10 years? What will we do with this moment? One thing I've been ruminating on is being of service. I grumble to those around me about how much time I spend volunteering on various things, but truth is, I *love* volunteering. I think our town is reportedly the volunteer capital of Canada, too. soooo many events around here simply wouldn't happen were it not for the volunteers. It's incredible. And I'm very grateful to be able to give of myself to my community, to my neighbours, to anyone who needs help... to use my self for the greatest good of all. So that'll be a resolution: keep on volunteering, being of service to others!
Another thing I've been pondering is gratitude. One thing I'd like to develop in 2010 is a really regular, consistent attitude of gratitude. I know I've made progress in this area, but still, I see I have a ways to go... gratitude for the food I eat, for my needs being met, for the gift of this moment.
Of course, like many others, exercise and diet are things I've been contemplating in regards to resolutions for the new year. I haven't exercised in earnest (i.e. daily) since September when I did a 30-day juicefeast. I *need* to get back into near-daily exercise. Sweating daily is so key for detox and I know how much I benefit from the exercise...
As far as diet goes, I love being a raw vegan. I am committed to continuing eating the raw vegan way... I am aiming to incorporate a daily green juice or green smoothie. I would *love* to see my family eat more raw foods (not exclusively, but more raw and less (or no) fried would be awesome) - I'll offer, but not push it upon them. I'd really like to go for some counselling around addiction issues (not alcohol or drugs, but food.... cooked food) this year. Try to sort out some of my attachments to food, rebuild a healthier relationship with food, where it becomes fuel for my body and not something to use to distract me from my life (if that makes sense). To develop a deeper sense of mindful connection between my food and my state-of-being.
To develop and explore more interests, maintain an open mind and attitude, to practice reiki and tai chi and meditation with more regularity, to pay off debt and live within my means (prosperity), to continue on the path towards greater health, to continue to enjoy the company of my children & dh and just be with them... ahhhh, the blessings of family, to connect with friends, to nurture my self (self-care and personal growth). There is one very specific thing that I'm really hoping to manifest in 2010, but I'll tease you by keeping it to myself for now. I have some idea of possibilities, glimpses of visions, of the year ahead and well, we'll just see how it all unfolds.
Tonight I stood under the full moon, stated my desires for continued excellent health, for prosperity, joy, LOVE and more and blew bubbles to send those intentions skyward. I also thanked Spirit for the unconditional love and support and guidance I always receive, and asked for continued support. My crystals are soaking in the moonlight tonight.
A bliss-filled start to 2010! Happy New Year!
And well, now is the time! Welcome to 2010, a new decade!!
What will we do with the next 10 years? What will we do with this moment? One thing I've been ruminating on is being of service. I grumble to those around me about how much time I spend volunteering on various things, but truth is, I *love* volunteering. I think our town is reportedly the volunteer capital of Canada, too. soooo many events around here simply wouldn't happen were it not for the volunteers. It's incredible. And I'm very grateful to be able to give of myself to my community, to my neighbours, to anyone who needs help... to use my self for the greatest good of all. So that'll be a resolution: keep on volunteering, being of service to others!
Another thing I've been pondering is gratitude. One thing I'd like to develop in 2010 is a really regular, consistent attitude of gratitude. I know I've made progress in this area, but still, I see I have a ways to go... gratitude for the food I eat, for my needs being met, for the gift of this moment.
Of course, like many others, exercise and diet are things I've been contemplating in regards to resolutions for the new year. I haven't exercised in earnest (i.e. daily) since September when I did a 30-day juicefeast. I *need* to get back into near-daily exercise. Sweating daily is so key for detox and I know how much I benefit from the exercise...
As far as diet goes, I love being a raw vegan. I am committed to continuing eating the raw vegan way... I am aiming to incorporate a daily green juice or green smoothie. I would *love* to see my family eat more raw foods (not exclusively, but more raw and less (or no) fried would be awesome) - I'll offer, but not push it upon them. I'd really like to go for some counselling around addiction issues (not alcohol or drugs, but food.... cooked food) this year. Try to sort out some of my attachments to food, rebuild a healthier relationship with food, where it becomes fuel for my body and not something to use to distract me from my life (if that makes sense). To develop a deeper sense of mindful connection between my food and my state-of-being.
To develop and explore more interests, maintain an open mind and attitude, to practice reiki and tai chi and meditation with more regularity, to pay off debt and live within my means (prosperity), to continue on the path towards greater health, to continue to enjoy the company of my children & dh and just be with them... ahhhh, the blessings of family, to connect with friends, to nurture my self (self-care and personal growth). There is one very specific thing that I'm really hoping to manifest in 2010, but I'll tease you by keeping it to myself for now. I have some idea of possibilities, glimpses of visions, of the year ahead and well, we'll just see how it all unfolds.
Tonight I stood under the full moon, stated my desires for continued excellent health, for prosperity, joy, LOVE and more and blew bubbles to send those intentions skyward. I also thanked Spirit for the unconditional love and support and guidance I always receive, and asked for continued support. My crystals are soaking in the moonlight tonight.
A bliss-filled start to 2010! Happy New Year!
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