weekend warrior

I'm a weekend warrior of the unconventional type... I'm not sore from a weekend spent exercising, I'm exhausted from travelling. :P We went to the mainland this weekend to look at a townhouse for sale. Travelling, because I'm not used to it, literally knocks my socks off. I'm exHauSteD just getting anywhere. I think it's partly the constant motion of transportation... I don't usually spend 6 hrs en route to anywhere. Also, there's the unfamiliarity of the surroundings (although I can't completely confess to that, being that I went back to where I spent the first 20 yrs of my life)... and the traffic of the city or urban environment. Totally not used to the traffic anymore. And as my son said, the people. Sooooo many more people than in our little community of 400. ha ha ha ha ha I guess it's all about sensory overload. We were only over there for one night, but wow, today I'm just wiped. Last night I was like this, too, shortly after 10 p.m. (highly unusual for me to turn the lights off before midnight).

So the townhouse? Loved it. It's a cohousing complex, meaning a few things - it's focus is on building community between the inhabitants. This is facilitated by underground parking and a pedestrian walkway joining all the homes, allowing for more face-to-face interaction as people walk to and from their cars and the common house. Oh, yes, the common house. Also not a traditional feature in your average townhouse complex. This lovely shared space is fantastic and has so much to offer - shared laundry, a lounge, a guest room, a business office space as well as meeting/board room, aerobics or dance studio with mirrored wall, art studio, woodworking shop, dining hall with stage and community kitchen, indoor play area, teen area, outdoor play areas and trampoline, garden plots and so much more. Loved all of that.

What's not to love? Well, the idea of a smaller home than we're currently living in is a little daunting. It'd mean moving from 2000 sq ft down to about 1150. That's a significant decrease in living space... and while I know *I* could handle it (and probably the kids, really), it's dh who's the packrat. He grew up on 7 acres and then moved to 12. Having 12 acres to yourself is a lot different than sharing 6 with 100 other people! Also, just the interior space. The house he grew up in was 4000 sq ft. Ours, at 2000, is a struggle for him to keep his (ahem) *stuff* contained. He just doesn't believe in 'decluttering'. So that's really a bit of an issue, because I can handle his clutter in *this* house, where he has a separate room where I can toss it if he leaves it lying out. But in 1150 sq ft, I might need some therapy if his *stuff* is going to end up spilling out all over the house.

First things first, though. We need to get our own home ready to sell and on the market. So at the moment, I'm working on a (sadly, rather lengthy) "deficiency list" of things that will need touching up before we're ready to list. I asked dh if we ought to place a self-imposed deadline for that, but the idea didn't meet a very warm reception. lol

When the timing is right, our place will sell and there will be another 4 or ideally 5 br place (1600 sq ft) for sale in this townhouse complex.... that is, *if* dh can't get a job posting over on the island before then, which would be even more ideal.

oh, and the poncho? looks AWESOME and dd *loves* it! *AND* the matching one for her Maplelea doll looks fantastic, too, 'though a tad bit long... and it's not like the doll's going to 'grow into it'. ha ha ha I finished both today... just 5 days. *that's* the kind of craft project I can do!!

i'm a crocheting machine! LOL

poncho, anyone?! phew! dd asked if i would make her a poncho earlier this week, so we went off to buy yarn and next thing you know, i seriously spent about 10 hrs today crocheting a poncho for her. the plan is to make her 18" Maplelea doll a matching poncho (which i'm hoping dd will want to make for the doll herself). they'll both be raspberry with ice pink. so far it looks great (and i'm TOTALLY loving making it for her!), and it reminded me that my paternal grandmother crocheted me one when i was about 7, too, only i haven't a clue what colour(s) it was. i just remember wearing it... vaguely.

so my hands are cramping up after so many hours needling... and i would keep going, (LOL, how's that for OC) except i have to be out the door in about 10 hrs, and i have a lot that i need to do before then. i love that my washing machine has a delay function; i'll wake up to the alarm clock early and the load of laundry will *just* be finished... our dishwasher also has a delay and i often set it to run during the middle of the night.

i had a fantastic tai chi class last night and another one this morning, although i missed the first hour of the continuing class this morning, including the *three* sets they did! bummer! we hardly ever do three sets in a class! I still got 90 mins of tai chi in, as I did the last half hour of continuing as well as teaching an hour immediately afterwards.

In Light,
~n~

God, help me see outside of my self.
Make me worthy of your blessings, and may I serve you for a purpose greater than that of which I can conceive of.

Ya, a lot of navel-gazing going on around here. A lot of wondering aloud about the impact on the family of moving, time spent looking at the things not finished around here and in my life in general, lamenting their incomplete state, rather than appreciating their beauty as it is. *sigh*

And so to get out of this head-space, I'll think about what went *right* today:

I had a lovely time talking with the other mamas while the children swam today. I am very grateful for their companionship and friendship.

I had a wonderful adjustment at the chiropractor after. And a great conversation with him about how we (in western society) assume that 'aging' means losing mobility and flexibility, and yet this doesn't have to be the case at all. Preventative health care is one way of extending our life expectancy, one aspect of self-care and a way of choosing health over disease.

dh came home after a week away. distance sure does make the heart grow fonder. :)

Had a great conversation with my fil about the possibility of moving. he's a wonderful sounding board, and wise, too.

The chickens are all safe and sound (we lost one to a raccoon last week) and they are all behaving very well about going to bed on time. They're very cooperative about going inside at dusk now, and I appreciate this very much, rather than waiting until well after dark before locking them in.

I am very very grateful for my tai chi practice.

I walked through the house the other day with a piece of paper and a pen, and made note of all the possessions I'd willingly release... and there's *lots*! LOL I'll bring my list up in a family meeting, and see if others are also willing to let some of them go. The kids thought I was behaving oddly, taking 'inventory'. ha ha ha

I'm just feeling... really blah today. I want to get things *done* around here but I haven't got the skills/time/money to work on them. I'm trying to be aware of what things I am capable of doing - yesterday I moved five wheelbarrows of dirt (I've learned not to overdo it in my enthusiasm)... today I'm hoping to move a few more.

But before I go do that, I've got some paperworky type things that need to be finished inside, so I'd best stop procrastinating and get them done.

Feeling grateful for a nice warm cup of nettle tea,
~n~

a fresh new week...

we spent a rainy day today working on *last week's* workbook/schoolwork/etc. this whole scheduling thing - scheduling in the curriculum areas - while I see it's merit in the sense of giving the children something to check off, a visual confirmation of what's been 'done' during the day and week... well, it just rubs my free-spirited mind the WRONG way.

i prefer my lifelong learning to be more of an organic journey, less scripted by external doctrine and more from the heart... if i want to spend an entire day curled up in front of the woodstove, working on a cross-stitch, why not?! Likewise, if the children want to spend a day playing Lego, or colouring and cutting out paper doll clothes, why not?! who cares what's been accomplished so long as you are inspired and passionate and full of wonder and enthusiasm about how you spend your time? i think that coming from a place of inspiration and passion, no matter what 'subject' it's towards, i think you have a much better chance of remembering and truly learning than being forced to think of things in terms of distinct subjects... alas...

ds really doesn't like bookwork... he stalls and fusses and asks how to spell words and just generally drags his feet, and in personality, we're so alike that his way of being just pushes my buttons sometimes - it's like having a mirror at all the things i'm not comfortable about myself (like being sensitive, intense, and emotional), having them reflected back to deal with... NOW. and continuous self-reflection isn't easy, ya know. :P anyways, i'm not about to just cross off the schedule; i think there's something to be learned from catching up, even if it means spending a rainy day inside at the kitchen table. don't think that i'm a task master; he was off playing every few minutes... and although he awoke fresh this morning determined to catch up entirely - he's not there yet because of the foot dragging. although he made a fair attempt to catch up, it might be a couple more days yet before he's behind the eight ball again.

on the flip side, dd and i played many duets today on the piano, and that's enjoyable. she doesn't like to sit alone at the piano, but offer to play duets for the pieces she's learning and she delights in having a partner. ds, otoh, enjoys playing alone and will happily forego his workbook for a few minutes tickling the ivories.

apart from that, their glorious snowman lost his head today. steady rain weakened his neck. the ground is returning to its normal green and it's considerably warmer today than the past week or so.

i was disappointed today to hear the property we're contemplating looking at on the mainland already has a conditional offer on it, and unless we can come up with an unconditional offer (and carry two mortgages on one income?!?) it's not looking promising. life will unfold as it's meant to, this i am sure of, so i'm trying not to worry, to just let things be.

I hab a code...

Ugh. Seriously. What is WITH these sinus infections?!? Granted, today is *much* better than yesterday, but still, enough already! Yesterday I drank 2 tsp of ACV in a glass of warm water, I took about 70 drops of oil of oregano in water throughout the day and also rinsed my sinuses with warm sea salt water. All of it helped and today I definitely do think I'm managing alright, but really, any time now, it could just GO AWAY!!!! ...for eternity.

Well, it's finally come down to dh & I talking about moving. The 6 hr commute at either end of his workweek is weighing heavily on him and none of us enjoy that we don't see him during the workweek, and with all the OT available this year, we won't be seeing him for 5 days at a time very often. We've been here 12+ years, and have gotten very comfortable in our home... it is the only home the kids have known. It's a beautiful acreage in the forest, with a seasonal creek through the back and less then 500m to the ocean. It's truly a piece of paradise. So the thought of leaving and moving to the mainland is... less than appealing. But the reality is, dh's been commuting for 2 yrs now and we both realize he's not getting a posting over here this year, which means a minimum of 3 yrs... and it could be another 2 (or more) after that before an opening comes up on the island. And ultimately, do we want to be doing this for 2, 3... even 5 more years?!? Not so much. So there's talk. Talk about the staggering amount of work that needs to be done around here to get this place ready to put on the market... and just where is the time (& money) going to come from to do all that?!? Then there's talk about the aspect of downsizing - obviously we're not going to find a house & acre over there that's in our budget, so we have to wrap our heads around letting go of a lot of possessions (which actually I think is a blessing), but it's the animals - the dog, cats, chickens - that I wonder and worry about. I doubt we can bring 23 chickens with us (lol), let alone 3 outdoor cats, and the dog, well... *sigh* So it's not without serious apprehension that I'm pondering this possible move. I'm not jumping up and down with joy at the thought of moving, period, let alone to the city. I love it out here in the country. It's quiet, rural, but you've still got a very supportive community around you. Doesn't matter what window I look out of, all I see is green - trees, trees, everywhere. I'd miss that terribly. There's so much I'd miss, but I can see that being overly attached to this property & lifestyle at the expense of being together as a family isn't productive. Moving is never stress-free but maybe it's what needs to be done this year. idk. what do you think?

*ANOTHER* sinus infection?!?!?

omG this is, i think, the fourth sinus infection I've had in what feels like as many months. good RIDDANCE!!!! ds and i are both sniffling away, sinuses plugged, and i'm praying and hoping it doesn't go into our eustachian tubes again. ear infections are so awful!! i don't know what's bringing these sinus infections on... i mean, my diet is so much healthier than the average person's, imo, and so is ds's. so what's up with the sinus infections?! i know i haven't been in that daily exercise habit, and that's probably got something to do with it. also, i got to thinking today that it's something psychically with my sixth chakra... why the repeated blockage, i don't know. if you can shed some light on this, *please do*.

And it snowed today! not just a little; we probably got 6 or 8 inches of snow! *highly unusual for our area* it was such a shock; yesterday it was sunny and the crocuses were in full bloom, and today they're buried beneath the snow. dh & the kids made the coolest snowman - he's wearing sunglasses and has his beach towel and flippers and is ready for the beach, but looks rather grumpy about the snow. LOL I'm not sure how long the snow will last, but at least the roads are clear - we drove about 160 kms tonight and had no problems at all, 'though we saw *several* vehicles in the ditches. I should be more confident in inclement weather; after all, I have AWD and brand new all-season tires, but honestly, I am scared silly about driving in snow. I strongly dislike the idea that if something goes wrong I'd have to be the responsible adult, I'd have to stay calm and care for my children. It's such a ridiculous notion; I mean, I'm the lone adult with my children most of the time, and most of the time, I'm alright with it... especially when things are routine and we're in the confines of our comfort zone. But when things go outside that zone - like inclement weather, for example - well, that sends my stress levels high. Especially seeing other vehicles in the ditches. Not terribly reassuring for my frazzled nerves and creative imagination! LOL Ahhh well, we made it home just fine, and I think it's important for me to go outside that comfort zone when the opportunity presents itself. We could've stayed home today, but chose not to. It's important for me to have good experiences outside the comfort zone, to build my confidence that I can, in fact, handle stressful situations... even if it is something minor like driving in snow.

well, this sniffly mama's off to bed.
*namaste*