today i was sitting with my neighbour chatting, her two girls and my daughter playing together upstairs when one of them squealed, "A pigeon! A pigeon just landed on the roof!" We sometimes, in the spring/summer, have ring-necked doves which look somewhat like large pigeons come and frequent our yard, but this was clearly a city-slickin' pigeon that came to visit today. It had a band on one of it's legs, and hung around the house/yard for 2 hrs before dusk (not sure, it could still be out there).... I was curious what the 'meaning' behind its visit was, and came across this, which I *love*:
The pigeon is the totem of goals, focus, and perseverence. This unassuming bird holds the qualities of home, security, and maternal instincts. Those with this totem have often experienced unsettling childhoods and are constantly challenged to find security and clarity in all areas of their lives. The pigeon totem assists us to find the stability and home that has been lost to us in the past. The pigeon's gift to us is the ability to accomplish through our attunement with nature. If a pigeon has come to you, its message is to set clear goals and to keep your sights and sensitivities focused on where you want to be. Do not be concerned with HOW you will get there, only how it will look or be when you arrive.
Thanks to this site for the beautifully-written info! :D
29 January 2010
25 January 2010
Growth
We had salad mix from our local CSA today, and amongst the leafy green goodness that was in it were pea shoots... that we just loooooooooove. Which reminded me of the forthcoming spring, of the increasing light of each day, of new growth... of personal growth.
I have a friend who just finished radiation treatments for breast cancer on Thursday. Thirty treatments over the past 6 weeks. We celebrated her final treatment, and something she said to me afterwards really hit home: "As you go through life, you've got to open your mind up and be continually learning, seeking new experiences, and growing. Because if you're not growing, you're stagnating. And if you're stagnating, you're dying." Her positive attitude and willingness to embrace life throughout the past several months has been truly awe-inspiring.
Someone said to me today that I tend to talk myself out of my goals. I didn't realize that's what I was doing, and it really helped to have someone articulate for me what I (unconsconsciously) must do: sabotage my own success. [What would I do in this moment, if I knew I could not fail?] I need to fully embrace my goals, own them, actualize them. I hear the self-doubt sooooooo often - the little voice that says I have nothing worth sharing with the world, that I'm just "little ol' me" - woe's me.
So tonight, when I realized I was beginning to spiral into the negative thinking of self-doubt and self-loathing, I sprang from the bed (before my mind could weasle it's way out of it), turned the light on, and did a set of tai chi. It felt wonderful to melt into the moment. Afterwards, I gave thanks for the healing energy, and then, I looked at myself in the mirror, smiled, and said, "I love you. You are worthy. I love you unconditionally. You are loved. You are lovable. You are loving." I smiled to myself as I said this, taking the time to really see the laugh lines, the wrinkles, the grey hair. I tried to see me as others see me, because it seems like it's sometimes easier for others to love me than it is for me to love myself - everyone else seems to accept that I have increasing amounts of grey hair, so why shouldn't I also fully embrace and accept me as I am in this moment? I looked at myself in the mirror and felt beautiful.
I have a friend who just finished radiation treatments for breast cancer on Thursday. Thirty treatments over the past 6 weeks. We celebrated her final treatment, and something she said to me afterwards really hit home: "As you go through life, you've got to open your mind up and be continually learning, seeking new experiences, and growing. Because if you're not growing, you're stagnating. And if you're stagnating, you're dying." Her positive attitude and willingness to embrace life throughout the past several months has been truly awe-inspiring.
Someone said to me today that I tend to talk myself out of my goals. I didn't realize that's what I was doing, and it really helped to have someone articulate for me what I (unconsconsciously) must do: sabotage my own success. [What would I do in this moment, if I knew I could not fail?] I need to fully embrace my goals, own them, actualize them. I hear the self-doubt sooooooo often - the little voice that says I have nothing worth sharing with the world, that I'm just "little ol' me" - woe's me.
So tonight, when I realized I was beginning to spiral into the negative thinking of self-doubt and self-loathing, I sprang from the bed (before my mind could weasle it's way out of it), turned the light on, and did a set of tai chi. It felt wonderful to melt into the moment. Afterwards, I gave thanks for the healing energy, and then, I looked at myself in the mirror, smiled, and said, "I love you. You are worthy. I love you unconditionally. You are loved. You are lovable. You are loving." I smiled to myself as I said this, taking the time to really see the laugh lines, the wrinkles, the grey hair. I tried to see me as others see me, because it seems like it's sometimes easier for others to love me than it is for me to love myself - everyone else seems to accept that I have increasing amounts of grey hair, so why shouldn't I also fully embrace and accept me as I am in this moment? I looked at myself in the mirror and felt beautiful.
23 January 2010
addiction
Am I off-base when I think that, to some degree, nearly everyone struggles with some form of addiction? whether it's alcohol, drugs, codependent behaviour, food, obsessive compulsiveness, internet or computers or gaming or any number of behaviours or issues... it seems like many, MANY people struggle with something in their lives.
how many of us are truly able to set aside our struggles, for even a moment, when we're in the presence of another being, to be fully present in the relationship/interaction/conversation? how many of us are able to do that consistently?
and when we're in a conversation where something said rubs us the wrong way, how many of us are able to, first of all, not take it personally, and secondly, recognize that a person who says something that seems offensive is (possibly) hurting and seeking deeper connection, and third, how many of us are able to hold the sacred space open and remain connected to Spirit ourselves in that challenging moment?! And isn't that what Life is asking us to do? Isn't that the ultimate gift that we can give to each other... All that's required is a deep breath and some mindful awareness and deep compassion? How many of us truly remember that each and every moment... this moment, is truly sacred? After all, it's the only moment we've got.
All too often it's easier said than done. But truly, we're collectively waking up. We're sharing with each other, we're learning to communicate deeply, we're becoming really present in our conversations. Synchronicities are exploding, flow is happening, and it's beginning to snowball. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.
how many of us are truly able to set aside our struggles, for even a moment, when we're in the presence of another being, to be fully present in the relationship/interaction/conversation? how many of us are able to do that consistently?
and when we're in a conversation where something said rubs us the wrong way, how many of us are able to, first of all, not take it personally, and secondly, recognize that a person who says something that seems offensive is (possibly) hurting and seeking deeper connection, and third, how many of us are able to hold the sacred space open and remain connected to Spirit ourselves in that challenging moment?! And isn't that what Life is asking us to do? Isn't that the ultimate gift that we can give to each other... All that's required is a deep breath and some mindful awareness and deep compassion? How many of us truly remember that each and every moment... this moment, is truly sacred? After all, it's the only moment we've got.
All too often it's easier said than done. But truly, we're collectively waking up. We're sharing with each other, we're learning to communicate deeply, we're becoming really present in our conversations. Synchronicities are exploding, flow is happening, and it's beginning to snowball. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.
22 January 2010
food
One of the things we did yesterday was go grocery shopping. Our cupboards were, in my opinion, getting a little bare (just call me Old Mother Hubbard, lol). Actually, shopping yesterday made me think a lot about why I surround myself with food... why is it that I need full cupboards before I feel secure, safe. Why is it I need access to food? And am I the only one who's like this???? What would it be like for me to live with only the food I was going to eat today, or this week, in the house.... no stockpile of goji berries or maca powder, or flax crackers and raw almond butter in the house. makes me anxious just thinking about it. :s
Part of it is that I have hang-ups with food scarcity. Maybe in a past life I starved to death, I don't know. I can tell you that since being born (and yes, this is a 'racket', to use that terminology (if you're familiar with it) I tell myself, a story I hang onto about myself, that yes, I could choose at any time here to just let go of), I have been really really hung up on having food around me... specifically, like, overeating. As an infant I apparently used to suck that bottle dry in less than a minute. My mom said it was like I was constantly starving. I'd inhale the pablum. I'd scarf whatever food you put in front of me. This is how I felt it was growing up... I never ever had free access to food, to choose what or more importantly, how much, to eat. It was as though food was withheld from me (in my 'best interests') - and yet, by mealtime, I'd be sooooo hungry and I'd eat so quickly (and without thought or mindfulness/conscious intent). I remember being put on my first diet at 13. And then of course the cycle of dieting begins. My 20s were spent obese. Now in my 30s I feel like veganism, and specifically raw veganism, is giving me healing, yet I'm still not completely there.
I said to dh yesterday that if you were to ask me what weight I'd like to be, it would be, ironically, the lowest weight I've ever been as an adult, which, incidentally, I only hit after being sick for 2 weeks with a nasty kidney infection when I was 18. WHY do I still think that is an acceptable weight for me? Seriously. How warped is it that in my mind, my ideal weight requires me to be violently ill for several weeks to reach it, let alone how would I maintain that?!? LMAO Not to mention why do I think a weight I haven't been since I was 18 is a reasonable goal to attain in my 30s... (someone needs some t-h-e-r-a-p-y)
I really want to juice feast again... 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, who knows how long. There is an incredible freedom when you're feasting - and maybe I'd experience that if I'd just make a food plan (as opposed to a food log) and stick with it on a daily basis. I figure if I was feasting I'd be free from the options of what to eat... it would be juice, and then... more juice. :D And maybe I'd be able to sort through a lot of this baggage?
I'm still working my way through Raw Emotions, an incredibly helpful book by raw diva, Angela Stokes-Monarch. I guess with deep seated issues like mine around food, it's going to take a while.
Part of it is that I have hang-ups with food scarcity. Maybe in a past life I starved to death, I don't know. I can tell you that since being born (and yes, this is a 'racket', to use that terminology (if you're familiar with it) I tell myself, a story I hang onto about myself, that yes, I could choose at any time here to just let go of), I have been really really hung up on having food around me... specifically, like, overeating. As an infant I apparently used to suck that bottle dry in less than a minute. My mom said it was like I was constantly starving. I'd inhale the pablum. I'd scarf whatever food you put in front of me. This is how I felt it was growing up... I never ever had free access to food, to choose what or more importantly, how much, to eat. It was as though food was withheld from me (in my 'best interests') - and yet, by mealtime, I'd be sooooo hungry and I'd eat so quickly (and without thought or mindfulness/conscious intent). I remember being put on my first diet at 13. And then of course the cycle of dieting begins. My 20s were spent obese. Now in my 30s I feel like veganism, and specifically raw veganism, is giving me healing, yet I'm still not completely there.
I said to dh yesterday that if you were to ask me what weight I'd like to be, it would be, ironically, the lowest weight I've ever been as an adult, which, incidentally, I only hit after being sick for 2 weeks with a nasty kidney infection when I was 18. WHY do I still think that is an acceptable weight for me? Seriously. How warped is it that in my mind, my ideal weight requires me to be violently ill for several weeks to reach it, let alone how would I maintain that?!? LMAO Not to mention why do I think a weight I haven't been since I was 18 is a reasonable goal to attain in my 30s... (someone needs some t-h-e-r-a-p-y)
I really want to juice feast again... 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, who knows how long. There is an incredible freedom when you're feasting - and maybe I'd experience that if I'd just make a food plan (as opposed to a food log) and stick with it on a daily basis. I figure if I was feasting I'd be free from the options of what to eat... it would be juice, and then... more juice. :D And maybe I'd be able to sort through a lot of this baggage?
I'm still working my way through Raw Emotions, an incredibly helpful book by raw diva, Angela Stokes-Monarch. I guess with deep seated issues like mine around food, it's going to take a while.
21 January 2010
whoosh.... there it goes.
Wow, have the days ever been FLYING by... and yet, not. A bit of a paradox... Today was insanely busy with things to get done and yet everything got one, and there was a real calm about the whole day, even though it was packed with errands.
I'm totally excited about the new set of beginner tai chi classes starting up... I have 19 students registered, and hopefully another couple/few coming, which would be absolutely fantastic.
And seeing as I have to be at class in less than 12 hrs, I'm off to bed.
I'm totally excited about the new set of beginner tai chi classes starting up... I have 19 students registered, and hopefully another couple/few coming, which would be absolutely fantastic.
And seeing as I have to be at class in less than 12 hrs, I'm off to bed.
16 January 2010
Tai Chi
I am a volunteer Taoist Tai Chi (Internal Arts & Methods) Beginner Instructor, and today our branch held an open house (demo and free try-it class) in three different locations to advertise upcoming classes.
I have been taking tai chi classes for over just over 4 years now and have noticed many benefits. Tai chi is accessible to all; no matter how old or young you are, no matter what your fitness level, tai chi is a form of gentle exercise that is beneficial to all. While the graceful, slow movements may not look like they're doing much, trust me: they are. Many people with health issues such as MS, arthritis, osteoporosis, cancer, and many other issues have all found tai chi to improve their health. Even people in wheelchairs are able to adapt tai chi to do a sitting set. It really is something everyone can do. Tai chi is a widely popular form of exercise, and is practiced by many many people throughout the world.
I first started because I remember seeing the older Chinese gentlemen practicing in the early mornings in the parks of the city. I took a set of classes when I was in my late teens at a health club, but never continued practicing. At 30, I attended an open house like our club held today, and signed up for the beginner set of classes... and it's been ongoing ever since.
My Thursday night class is sacrilege. I try hard not to miss it, even driving 100 km roundtrip to drop kids off for childcare so i can take advantage of the class. (if that's not dedication...) I *love* what I get out of tai chi.
I have been taking tai chi classes for over just over 4 years now and have noticed many benefits. Tai chi is accessible to all; no matter how old or young you are, no matter what your fitness level, tai chi is a form of gentle exercise that is beneficial to all. While the graceful, slow movements may not look like they're doing much, trust me: they are. Many people with health issues such as MS, arthritis, osteoporosis, cancer, and many other issues have all found tai chi to improve their health. Even people in wheelchairs are able to adapt tai chi to do a sitting set. It really is something everyone can do. Tai chi is a widely popular form of exercise, and is practiced by many many people throughout the world.
I first started because I remember seeing the older Chinese gentlemen practicing in the early mornings in the parks of the city. I took a set of classes when I was in my late teens at a health club, but never continued practicing. At 30, I attended an open house like our club held today, and signed up for the beginner set of classes... and it's been ongoing ever since.
My Thursday night class is sacrilege. I try hard not to miss it, even driving 100 km roundtrip to drop kids off for childcare so i can take advantage of the class. (if that's not dedication...) I *love* what I get out of tai chi.
- I have more flexibility, both in body and mind.
- I have better balance, again, not only in my physical body but also in my life overall.
- I have amazing focus while practicing tai chi; I get into the zone. I'm able to set aside anything that's on my mind and be fully present. I don't have to wear any of the hats I so often wear throughout the day; I can just be... no one expects anything of me. I'm just there.
- We practice silently, which means I don't have to explain myself to anyone. I can just be in the group, co-creating a beautiful synergy with those around me.
- Practicing tai chi massages my internal organs, increases circulation, and also aids in the circulation of lymph in the body.
- Tai chi has helped me become more fully aware of my body - the slow movements allow me to feel every vertebrae moving, or where my hand is in space, relative to the rest of my body... very helpful.
- There is a strong sense of community, incredible bonding that happens between tai chi'ers that is really hard to describe.
If you're at all curious, check out the website - www.taoist.org and see if there's a class near you.
15 January 2010
New Moon with a Solar Eclipse
Two weeks ago, on New Year's Eve, we had a Full Moon with a lunar eclipse. Now we have a new moon with a solar eclipse. (I wonder how often those two happen back-to-back like that?)
In case you're curious, the new moon is at 11:11 p.m. PST and the eclipse at 11:06 p.m. on Thursday the 14th.
"this new moon solar eclipse in capricorn helps us learn more about ourselves and what we want out of life. Developing our own personal faith will help to sustain us while we are evolving and becoming the person we wish to be. It will enable us to maintain important personal values while eliminating worn-out beliefs that hinder our growth."
Other things I read:
- let old paths go and choose completely new and unique ones!
- accept unavoidable responsibilities, then choose highly creative methods to visualize ways to manifest new things!
- consider your core creative values; how you change yourself will ultimately change your world (our individual healing is actually a collective issue)
- this is a new moon for "re-setting your centre of gravity", for contemplating major life changes.
- live more authentically.
In case you're curious, the new moon is at 11:11 p.m. PST and the eclipse at 11:06 p.m. on Thursday the 14th.
"this new moon solar eclipse in capricorn helps us learn more about ourselves and what we want out of life. Developing our own personal faith will help to sustain us while we are evolving and becoming the person we wish to be. It will enable us to maintain important personal values while eliminating worn-out beliefs that hinder our growth."
Other things I read:
- let old paths go and choose completely new and unique ones!
- accept unavoidable responsibilities, then choose highly creative methods to visualize ways to manifest new things!
- consider your core creative values; how you change yourself will ultimately change your world (our individual healing is actually a collective issue)
- this is a new moon for "re-setting your centre of gravity", for contemplating major life changes.
- live more authentically.
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