Wow, sometimes I feel pulled in so many directions, like an octopus juggling spinning plates. LOL
I was about to recap for you a list of what I accomplished today (I even typed it all out, in fact), but I've deleted it... one, because I'm really trying to release my attachment to accomplishing things (if you knew my family of origin, you'd understand why). two, because I realized I was irritated by someone's comment that I live a priviliged life. Irritated, because I already *KNOW* I do (and I'm very Grateful for the opportunity), but the inference that as a stay-at-home parent I put in less hours and that it's less stressful than working outside of the home is, imo, an inaccurate perception. I wrote the list to remind myself of all the things I *do* do around here. Why did that comment bother me so? I think because it's so... ohh I don't know what. I think every situation has its blessings, challenges and opportunities, and I don't think it serves any worthwhile purpose to think that any situation other than the one we've created for ourselves is somehow 'better' than the one that is. The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. It's just grass. Just like the grass on this side. Take 100% responsibility for the choices you've made in your life, for where you are in this moment. You *CHOSE* everything you have (or don't have) in your life. Own it. If you feel trapped in some aspect of your life, be honest enough with yourself to own it. You created it. Take responsibility for it. Be One with it. LOVE IT. Love every little aspect about your life.
I think what frustrated me about the comment was that I know I was in the same place mentally several years back. I didn't want to own it, to take responsibility, that I had chosen what I had in my life. I didn't want to own it when the baby woke up at 3 a.m. that I had CHOSEN to have my sleep disturbed. I didn't want to own it when my children began to assert their own independence and do their own thing, contrary to my control freak ways. There have been so many times when I didn't want to be in the situation I found myself in. And I had to own that I had these tendencies to want to control everything around me, and that I didn't handle it well when things didn't go my way. I'm still like that, I can see how I still behave like that - sometimes I find my ego thinking some other life (other than the one I have) would be better. It usually passes quite quickly now. And I think I laugh at myself a whole lot more nowadays. I'm not all that, ya know? Ha ha ha
Love ya! :D
3 comments:
Holy smokes it wasnt meant at ALL to bother you. Its just DIFFERENT, but I tell you, when you work 11 hour days away from home the grass does appear greener. Never meant to offend, you know that.
there's such a stereotype these days that a woman ought to work AND have a family, and choosing one or the other just isn't good enough. surely you realize that yourself as you choose to put your career first. i can't tell you how many times i've been told i'm 'wasting' my degree and my education by being a stay-at-home parent, the implication being that the degree can only be 'used' in a job, that learning in and of itself is simply not enough. i constantly have to affirm for myself that i am doing a very important job, raising my children... and i put countless hours into it.
Regardless of whatever sacrifices I've made, I wouldn't want to be doing anything other than what I'm doing with my life. And I'm very grateful for everything in my life.
Is *that* what you're envious of?
Nope. I'm also doing what I want, and I'm glad for the decisions I have made. I'm simply saying that at times it would be *nice* to (ie) work from home or to BE HOME, and that you are lucky to have a supportive partner that shares your family vision. Perhaps I should have said nothing.
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