It's been a good day, a great day really, for which I'm very grateful. dd had her art class; she loved it. Afterwards, the kids went to a birthday party, which was supposed to be for 3 hrs, but we kinda overstayed our welcome and were there 5 hrs... but the kids were playing so welllllllllllll together... why end that just because the clock says to? And besides, I was really enjoying the parents' company, too. Nonetheless, I'll phone tomorrow and apologize, LOL, although I'm pretty sure it was mutual... I'll just check-in on that. ;)
For some reason, though, tonight I'm feeling very... almost melancholy. Maybe contemplative is a better word. Thoughtful. Lost in thought. I'm feeling surrounded by the energy of loss right now. I don't know why; it's not my reality right now at all. It's just that tonight, for various reasons, this is where my thoughts are drawn and I find myself sitting in the darkness, in the soft orange glow of the rock salt lamp, my eyes moist with salty tears that will not come, feeling the loss that so many others have felt, sensing the path others have walked - in a word, grieving. I feel in awe of how courageous people are in the face of adversity, of loss. I guess one way to think of it is not as a "loss" but as "changing form". Perhaps then I will begin to understand. But for right now, I sit with it. Not trying to fix it, change it. It just is.
And just sitting with it, I sense a shift, towards gratitude. It becomes a sense of gratitude - GRATITUDE (it feels very big)... for that kernel of opportunity for growth, for learning, that lies within every moment. Even in loss, there is so much to be had. Time for some Reiki and a warm bath.
Namaste'
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