Struggling to find balance between long-term goals and the daily things that need to get done. Because those long-term goals have steps that I ought to be focusing on daily, and yet it seems like there isn't time each day to fit those long-term baby steps into life.
Like, as an example, long-term goal: cultivate mindfulness within the family. Daily baby-step: meditate just 2 minutes with the kids each morning. No biggee, right? Except it just doesn't happen. Even me meditating on my own for 2 mins just doesn't happen regularly. *sigh*
Other dilemma is that I don't have clear, written long-term goals, and I *know* that this is part of the whole problem. *is* the problem. Can't get there if it's not put out there clearly.
And also, how do we get to having those meaningful conversations in life rather than discussing the day-to-day things? Like, really I'd like to talk to you about philosophical matters, or have deep, meaningful conversations with you about things that inspire you and so on, and instead I feel like sharing things that I know won't matter 20 yrs from now.
Things like:
- had a good tai chi intensive/workshop this morning. I hope the 20+ attendees got as much out of it as I did (I wasn't instructing; I was participating).
- the chickens aren't laying at all. Went from laying 7+ eggs per day before our holiday to 0 the past 4 days. The person charged with caring for the cats & chickens while we were away neglected to feed or water them adequately and now they're in shock and not laying at all. Very disappointing. Cats were not fed enough but are outside 'mousers' and did alright although they're a little starved for Love and attention.
- Feels kinda weird to be back home and it's taking several days to settle back into life. Especially odd is having the dog around again after 12 days travelling without the dog. I'm really noticing her presence, whereas before holidays she just fit silently into the family. It's nice, but an odd awareness on my part.
See, these things are all matters occupying my mind at present, but what I really want to talk about is how seeing street kids in Mexico affected my 7 yr old deeply, and the observations my children had about American vs Canadian society while travelling - slight observations about how things are different, or how people behave differently, but important subtle observations, nonetheless. Or how dh & I watched The Help on our holiday and how I heard sniffles and tears throughout the theatre - how deeply that movie affected people. I watched it twice and had the same observation about the audience both times.
I want to talk about the things that *really matter* in life. Problem is, first I need to articulate better exactly what those things are for me. ;)
Hang in there; I can feel the hamster wheel churning in my brain. I'm sure something more intelligent will burst forth soon.
1 comment:
I see Smoke over Jordan River from here! Must be the hamster wheel burning away in there. =)
I'll have to watch the trailer for the help online. I dunno anything about it. Once youre in your routine and daily life resumes its normal pace you can likely digest your experience better. I bet there are some videos you can find in that funky sooke video store that maybe reflect on these things. I'm super glad the kids had some moments of realization to carry with them throughout life. Huge gift to take home.
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