meh.

Hi. How's life? I'm good. I suppose things are actually really great. I'm just not feeling really super full of life and joyous at the moment. Oh, it's nothing, really. Nothing more than everyday worries, nothing that is worth worrying about. (or is it?)

I stayed up way too late this week reading our book club book (even though book club's not for a few weeks, lol). It was called The Help. I can't remember the author. It was an amazing read. 500+ pages and I read it in one night.

I taught 3 tai chi classes last week (well, 4 in the past 8 days). But I missed my own class. It can be hard to balance - life, I mean. I only went to the farm one day this week (again; that's two weeks in a row I've only been once). I *like* to go twice a week, but I'm finding that my days are pretty full. And both tai chi and the farm are volunteer, and I have other responsibilities I'm trying to make time for as well.

I weeded the herb garden out this morning, most of it, anyway. Cut the comfrey way back, the lemon balm, the lovage, the oregano. Planted the lemon verbena, rosemary, catnip, tarragon, and (Miranda) hydrangea I'd picked up a little while ago. Watered everything. The other garden needs some lovin', too.

Oh, the bear was trapped and relocated from this area. I'm not sure if they actually did relocate the bear or if they killed it. I really don't know. One night (not sure if I mentioned this) it actually was scratching at the side of my neighbour's mobile home (a big tin can, someone called it). It's much quieter in the neighbourhood without the bear's daily escapades.

It's about 19 degrees outside (68 F); was 23 in town (76 F). It's slightly windy at our place, and being on the open ocean, it's a cool breeze as always, making it feel slightly cooler than what the thermometer says. Only during a real heat wave does it truly feel hot at our house, otherwise it's just comfortably breezy.

I'm having a really difficult time making healthy lifestyle choices these days - especially in regards to food and exercise. I feel like I'm sabotaging myself, and it's dreadful. I don't like it, and yet repeatedly I find myself making poor choices. I look at pictures from 2 summers ago and I get a pang of regret at what's happened since. I know I feel better with daily exercise and when eating more mindfully. *sigh* I'm feeling particularly crummy in this moment because of a poor food choice I made this afternoon. I'm hoping I won't be forced to repeat this lesson time and time again. :(

I'm reading Depletion and Abundance: life on the new home front (or, one woman's solutions to finding abundance for your family while coming to terms with peak oil, climate change, and hard times.) by Sharon Astyk. It's really interesting. She talks about the last century, how gender roles have changed, how we devalue domestic work, and about options for the future. Really, really interesting.

Generally, though, and you may have already picked up on this, I'm feeling pretty meh. Just in a bit of a funk. Not taking care of myself properly and I'm feeling it. I'm aware that's what's going on and I'm wishing I would snap out of it and just start caring again. I feel like my life is not in the best state of balance right now... struggling a little to balance the housework, yardwork, gardening, child-raising, family time, volunteering with tai chi and the farm, financially, oh, just everything. It's all feeling rather precarious sometimes. A little off-kilter.

Ask me next week. I'm sure this'll blow over. ;D