The Here, The Now

This moment is the here and now of your life. There is no past, no future. There is only the *now*. Spending this moment remembering the past, daydreaming about the future - these are ways of escaping the moment that is... the here... the now. Why do we do it? Why do we try and escape the present moment? Why do we struggle - why do we CREATE struggle in our lives? What on earth do we get out of it?!

I wanna know why we don't love ourselves wholly, with every fiber of our being, with every thought, with every breath. WHY do we instead choose to live unconscious lives - making what we KNOW are poor choices - whether it be in food, in relationships, in financial matters, in our choice of employment, in how we spend our leisure time - when we KNOW we can do better - that we *deserve* and are *worthy* of better?

Why do we do it? Why is self-love not happening?! To be so disconnected from Source, from Spirit. Forgetting that we are interconnected, that we are all One. The little boy who kicked his mother in the shin in Wal-Mart? He was you. She was you. You observing was you. The person who was in such a hurry behind you in traffic that they passed on a double-yellow line on a blind corner? That was you, too. The chicken/cow/pig your family ate for dinner?

Hard sometimes to remember to send loving energy, to the others present, and to yourself. Hard to say to yourself, geez, it's not easy watching this unfold - a reflection of those times when I'm not fully present, not fully connected to Source. It hurts to see that reflected back at me. And so I know just how these people are hurting in this moment.

I'm going to go out on a vegan limb here and say that when we, as humans, consume animal flesh, the only way we can do it is to do it unconsciously, to *not* spend that moment associating where that 'food' came from - not remembering the life that was given so we could eat. I don't think people would eat meat as often as they do if that were the case, if each time they ate meat it was like attending a funeral. Same with consuming dairy. I don't think people would enjoy their cheese or milk as much if they were accutely involved with or intimately aware of its production... that a mother cow gave birth, that her calf was taken from her too early, that the milk her body was producing specifically for the natural growth of that calf was pumped through a tube and processed and packaged and so on... Even if you get your flesh products from a local, organic, free-range source... how do you justify the killing of a sentient being for your own 'pleasure'?

But I'm digressing something terrible here ('though maybe you needed to hear that whole rant, so I'm not about to edit it out!)...

Where is self-love in our lives? I want to know how you choose to live consciously - what things are you doing to help you stay connected to Source, to others?

When I hang laundry, I get it. I get that I'm doing it for the environment, for all the little critters and insects and for the Earth herself. I know that I'm doing it for my family - simply for the freshness of line-dried clothing. For saving energy. It is such a blissful 'chore'.

A simple life, devoid of gossip, devoid of bling, devoid of all the unnecessary fluff and material wealth - but rich in rewards too numerous to describe - is where I find self-Love, where I love my self the most. Not in putting on make-up so that I hide under a mask of concealer and powder and unnatural colours, not in wearing the trendiest clothes, not in being the hippest kid on the block. But in hanging laundry. In caring for the chickens, cats, and dogs. In playing paper dolls, in going on bike rides, in watching my kids on the swingset. In eating foods that are unadulterated, organic, fresh, raw, living, pure. In practising tai chi. In gardening. This is where I feel the most Love.

I confess, I've slipped up something terribly this past year. I've pressed that *disconnect* button sooooooo many times. Just let me escape the present moment. Let me escape!!!!! I'm not even sure why. But I can tell you this: in this moment, I love me. I love where I am, and how I got here, and this wonderful journey I am on - even though I am not enamoured with the physical reflection of my self right now, I am changing that in this moment. I love my self wholly, unconditionally, with every fiber of my being, with every thought, and with every breath.