So let the sunshine in, face it with a grin, Open up the door and let the sunshine in....

Sunshine. Isn't it *amazing* just how awesome it makes you feel?!? Truly, as the sun sets, I sometimes feel a little melancholy that a beautiful sunny day has passed and night is approaching. Sooooooo many hours 'til dawn. Ahhh, but I must wait patiently.

When the sun is out, it just feels so great. Warming one's skin, hair... lifting one's emotions. And yep, I've had some pretty grumpy moments the last little while. You see, dh has been really sick the past couple months. He's lost 30+ lbs (apparently he gave them to me, :P), and his energy has naturally been waning. He's *never* been sick, not in the 15 yrs we've been together, not ever, he says. So this was a real wake-up call for us all. Apparently Dad's human. Here we all thought he was immune to any real health challenges. Maybe it's just that he's in his late 30s now. Some people have said that this is when things just start to fall apart. I disagree. I don't think we have to accept a lack of vitality and poor health for the remainder of our lives. No, no, no. I believe, like Anastasia says in the Ringing Cedars of Russia series, that we can have optimal health right up until we pass on.

However, I'm not living that right now. I've been struggling all winter with exercising. I stopped when I juice fasted for 30 days in September - I don't generally fast and continue with daily exercising at the level I usually do... And coming off the fast in early October I just never got back into the daily exercise habit. And it shows. (groan) Here we are, coming into summer, and I'm struggling with self-Love.

Compounding this is that I received my Reiki Master-Teacher attunement in early January and while I knew *intellectually* to expect some turbulence following the attunement, I didn't expect *this much*!!! Seriously, I've been on a roller-coaster of emotional detoxing for MONTHS now and it's sooooo draining. Thank goodness for a supportive relationship; dh has listened to me and supported me patiently the past several months unfailingly. And for another thing, emotions have quite often led me to emotional eating - I eat to avoid dealing with whatever comes up. Not a habit I'd consciously advise for anyone. I've only recently figured out that when the emotions come up, giving myself Reiki is actually more helpful than turning to food. So I'm now giving myself Reiki twice-daily. I'm also trying to practice tai chi daily, too. Slowly I feel like I'm turning myself around. It's been a long, hard winter. The sunshine is *much* appreciated; its life giving nourishment for the plants around me, its uplifting of the emotions. YAY for spring in all its glory!!!! :D

I never did tell you that dh's illness has been diagnosed, and he's starting to heal. It's been a really hard couple of months, lots of medical tests and worry for many of those around him (and for himself, too), but now we know what's wrong and can at least start fixing it. The new meds seem to be helping; his energy's increasing, as is his zest for life. There's another hs'ing family whose father also has a very similar illness; it's nice to have another mama who understands the emotional flow of dealing with the illness.

In Light, and Love...
~n~