late-night ramblings

hmm... i had a post all typed, ready-to-go, but deleted it. i don't know why, it was a decent-enough post... just that i'm feeling a little melancholy today. partly hormonal, partly just a bit of a pity party going on, some navel-gazing. lol and yes, i'm fully aware that a little more attitude of gratitude would help me snap out of it. just a matter of focusing on something other than myself and my perceived shortcomings. lol it's not the end of the world, i'm just getting bummed easily today by some thoughts. and part of it is that i haven't been eating 100% raw the past couple days. a few baked wheat items have found themselves in there, and that just spells depression for me. i'm sure if you eat a SAD diet you'll think i'm a quack, but it's true for me, anyway, that eating refined wheat baked foods lowers my vibrational energy and drains my positive energy, especially since these foods probably have had dairy in them, too. and i've also had the odd cup of decaf non-dairy coffee lately... a real rarity in my diet... and i can just feel it's not the best choice for me right now. you know, even though i know how AWESOME i feel on a raw vegan diet, reality is that it's not always an easy choice to make, despite knowing how great i feel when i do choose it. talk about self-sabotage, eh. you know it's the best thing, and yet you don't choose the best for yourself?! what's THAT all about. hmmm we'd better not go there right now, LOL... 'cuz i can see what's in that can of worms.

i *did* have a fantastic tai chi class tuesday morning... by the end of the second set the energy flow was soooooo strong through my body, i was tingling all over. it was really wonderful... although i am still startled when that happens, be it during reiki, tai chi, or meditation or what have you. funny though because i wouldn't say that either set of tai chi i did tuesday morning was my best ever. far from it, in fact, and yet still, with practice comes increased energetic sensations. so there is always benefit from practice... not perfection or mastery. ;)

anyways not much of mind-blowing significance to report. all is very good. wednesday we are going to finish up christmas shopping, visit dd's godmother, and have a few gifties still to make... wednesday also would've been my nana's 95th birthday. she was an accomplished artist and every generation on my mom's side seems to have an incredibly gifted (female) artist: my nana, my aunt, my sister, and my daughter... I was feeling a little sad today that my daughter & nana never shared this Earthly plane together, but I know the connection between them is beyond the limitations of our physical bodies and the constructs of time and space.

tuesday, besides tai chi class, we played a family boardgame, i cleaned out the chicken coop (oooh, happy hens!!) and lovingly tended the compost (I *love* my compost piles, lol), family snuggles in front of the christmas tree, a candlelit dinner together, and some cross-stitch while curled up in front of the warm woodstove. oh, and dd got a job dog-sitting for the neighbours the next couple days; she's quite excited about it. ;)

namaste'