Greetings, Spring!!!

Fittingly, it's pouring rain on this, our first day of spring. The rain reminds me of tears and crying, and that's something I've been doing the past couple days. Oyyyyy. In the past year of being raw, I really haven't had a detoxing moment like I've just had. Out of the blue, something bubbled up inside and all of a sudden I felt very overwhelmed with some issues I'd been stuffing deep deep down inside for several years.

Many months ago I had a dream one night about it and woke up in a cold sweat - unable to sleep, feeling something akin to terror - as I realized, "Oh right, I've never dealt with that. It's just sitting there, deep inside." At that time, I really didn't feel capable or strong enough emotionally and mentally to be able to deal with it. But now I guess I'm able to tackle this (I don't feel like I've consciously said, 'yes, bring this on now, I feel capable'; rather, it's more like a sense of almost being forced to deal with it as it is coming up now. I'm simply dealing with it as it comes up, not sitting in fear of what it might mean to deal with it and release it - does this make sense at all?). All in all, it has in fact been really really challenging and hard to work through (exactly what I was afraid of! LOL)

So how does one survive detox? (LOL) I've been really conscious of keeping up my water intake, making sure I get enough rest/sleep, eating very healthy raw foods, lots of dark leafy greens to aid the detoxing process.... I really need to exercise a little more - I've only put in 3 workouts this week so far, instead of the 7 I'd usually have in by now, so that would help, too... But I've been very conscious to be compassionate and gentle with myself as I go through this detox experience, really listening to my body.

Anyways, I don't really want to talk much about the issue itself. Just the surrounding detoxing experience... what this whole thing is teaching me is to release, just like what SPRING symbolizes. Spring is a time of releasing the darkness of winter, embracing the upcoming abundance of summer, celebrating the fertility of spring - the blossoms, the bees, bulbs of daffodils and tulips poking through the soil, birth and the possibilities of new ideas and creativity... A time when birds return and the birdsong chorus at dawn multiplies each day - the beautiful sounds of the birds awakening each morn.

On my sister's blog she wrote about rabbits, a symbol of spring: "Rabbit totem is actually ruled by Hecate, goddess of the crossroads. She reminds us of the importance of change, helping us to release the past, especially things that are hindering our growth, and to accept change and transitions. She sometimes asks us to let go of what is familiar, safe, and secure and to travel to the scary places of the soul. " You can say that again. Spending much time in thought the past couple days has helped me realize that I've been stuffing things deep inside, holding onto resentments that are in the past, and now I can see how they are hindering my growth, and I really need to learn to release them to move forward (I'm working on that - what will that look like in this case? hmmm). It has been really 'comfortable', holding onto what is familiar and 'safe' - stuffing everything down - but now, learning to deal with it openly and releasing it, setting myself free, is the challenge. (Free to do what? to be what? Who will I be if not the person I was, the person who held onto this resentment and stuffed this thing inside for so long? This is part of the releasing process.... and its applicable in our lives in so many ways.... when we first start to release weight, for example, we have a preconceived idea of 'who we are' - we are a person who is X number of pounds/kilos/stones... And then to release some weight and slowly we realize we are so emotionally attached, so invested, in being a person of X pounds/kilos/stones... who are we if we are not that person we thought we were?! And that is where I'm at... trying to sort out for myself, who am I if not that person who is so emotionally attached in holding onto the past? What possibilities lie before me in this moment? And that is where the joy of spring is found - the possibilities... for they are infinite for each of us in this moment.

RELEASE THE PAST!!

FREE YOURSELF!!

Be the Joyous, Radiant Being that you truly are!!!!!!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhh, that feels better!! :) LOL