Happy New Year!
I've been very lucky to have my sister visiting for the past couple days. We haven't lived together in 20 years, so being under the same room for this long has gifted me the most amazing internal dialogue (LOL). I see how different our lives are - she: working in the corporate world, childless, enjoying high-speed internet and aerosol hairspray. Oh, and meat. ;) Me: staying at home, homeschooling two children, living a very rural existence with dial-up internet and kitchen cupboards full of foods which are completely foreign for her: maca powder, goji berries, lentils, kelp flakes, kale chips...
Yep, there's lots of differences. We talked about how she just normally has her furnace set at 25. Our baseboard heaters are at 10, and when I feel cold, I put on an extra pair of socks and a sweater, have a cup of herbal tea, and light the woodstove if necessary. She's such a trooper; she's had a really nasty viral infection for over a month now, and still keeps on going, where I would've hunkered down with the oil of oregano at first sign of an infection and rested and fasted until it passed. Coming from different lifestyles, there's a silent headbutting that happens as our worlds collide; the white elephant in the room. ;)
I'm having to work hard to transcend the internal chatter, or else I get mired in coming from a place of judgment instead of seeing how the choices she's making and my responsive feelings are reflections of where I can gift myself unconditional acceptance and Love, what a wonderful opportunity this moment is to transcend the illusion and be fully present, surrendering to the greater good of All, to Love. Truth be told, it's not easy. I'm finding it challenging to surrender to what is, to rest at ease in the Truth that everything is just as it needs to be. There's deep lessons to be found in transcending the internal dialogue. I'm challenging myself to be fully present with the feelings I'm having, with the judgmental thoughts that enter my mind, trying to embrace them fully and accept that they are a part of me.
It's not easy.
But I'm feeling *very* grateful for the opportunity to open and grow, and be One with Love.
*bliss*
1 comment:
LOL you know I love you right? So hilarious because here we are having the same shared experience and yet at such complete odds ROFL! And yet not at odds either. In some ways (ok many) I envy what you have. Don't take this wrong, but if someone afforded ME to live at home with my kids and live my dreams I would TOTALLY do it. But instead I am the other part of that equation, and hey- sometimes its hard to be the soldier that works and saunters on day in and day out, even though its my decision and my plan, and (I feel) serves my sense of purpose. So its hard for me too, to see the other side of that. I feel for you DH because although I know he is equally committed to your vision, and you share the same goals, hard work and long days SUCK, man. You are very very very lucky to have that support in your life.
I'm glad we watched Leap together, and I'm glad we both share the same Joanne-ness =) because we both know its in us ranting away not so quietly in our heads LOL! Just know that I love you, despite your stupid jars of weird things and oily fake butter and stupid healthy ways!!! =)
/raises a beer to you
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