wow... what an intense past few days i've had. This candida cleanse is pretty physically intense (although I am so blessed that I've been raw and essentially following a candida "diet", save the fruit, for over 18 months now... I can't imagine going on this candida cleanse from the SAD overnight. THAT would be uber-intense, LOL). So I'm making sure I drink LOTS (3L) of water daily... otherwise I feel nauseous. Do I feel like the cleanse is working? Kinda. It's the end of Day 4 and I admit, I haven't cut fruit out... basically still eating what I was eating a week ago (no ice kream/cream, though). I *am* getting lots of (fresh) greens into me daily though, as well as Chlorella & Vitamineral Greens. I hope things improve dramatically over the next 11 days... and I will make a concerted effort to continue to decrease the amount of fruit I'm consuming.
Today I had:
3L of green smoothie (LOTS of dark leafy greens, banana, frozen berries, maca, vitamineral green, chlorella, camu berry, and a little agave, and Vega oil) - I know I should cut out the banana, berries, camu berry, and agave, but greens on their own? rather unpalatable, imo.
about 2L of water
some dehydrated kale chips - yummmmmmm
an orange - again, i should cut out all fruit, I know.
about 1c of veggies and dip
Still trying to stay conscious and not eat emotionally. I realize I need some therapy/professional help in this regard (so many of us do and so few of us are willing to admit it!). It's obviously not going to be an easy road, restructuring a lifetime of emotional attachments to food. I'm thinking I should search out a professional who specifically deals with eating disorders, although I'm far from having a clinically-diagnosable eating disorder, someone who has expertise in this area will hopefully be able to give me the guidance I need to develop a healthier relationship with food. I am hoping to get to a point where I only eat what my body requires... not eating out of boredom (big problem) or overeating or eating while stressed (another issue). we'll see.
The other thing that's been intense lately is the mental/emotional cleansing I'm going through. I've blogged about it before... about the past issues that have been supressed, rearing their ugly heads at me... well, this weekend was simply yet another one of those times... and geez, do I ever *hate* waking up with puffy eyes from crying inconsolably the night before. I remember doing that as a child and it takes me, like, the rest of the next day for the swelling around my eyes to go down and me to return to 'normal' emotionally (sometimes two days). It's intense. I'm soooooooo grateful dh is so super-awesomely-supportive, helping me work through it, talking about it, holding me close, reminding me he loves me... life is soooooo much better when you have a shoulder to cry on, literally. ;) I've got a request in for Byron Katie's book, Loving What Is, from the library and although I'm #12 on the waitlist, am hoping going through it (um, again) will help me release my desired outcome for the situation...
I know that this issue will eventually resolve itself... I'm having a really hard time letting it go (I *do* need to release it, I can see that, but doing and knowing what to do are two different things). Sometimes we just hold on so stubbornly, eh? I know I'm not alone in that.
it's a week of wrapping up classes (swimming, piano, etc.) for the holiday season, which is kinda nice. I was lamenting on the weekend that even though I felt like crap, life still had to go on and I had to put my emotional detoxing aside (easier said than done). I just wanted to crawl into a hole and complete the detoxing right then and there, but I've come to appreciate that it doesn't happen like that... I know that working through it will simply take time... chip away a little here, a little there, and eventually we'll peel back enough layers of the proverbial onion to get to the core of the matter and get some healing around it. In the meantime, I'll continue with the candida cleanse, the emotional detoxing, Reiki, tai chi, hot salt baths, drinking lots of water, and exercising, to assist with the healing. (if there's something else you'd recommend, i'd be interested in hearing... how do you heal from emotional detoxing?)
anyways, i'm babbling. have a wonderful wednesday... may it be filled with blessings and gratitude. ;)
namaste'
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