Connection

On the tv news I caught last week they had a clip about people using the internet to meet others... in-person. As in, using the internet to get off the internet... to actually CONNECT with other people. I laughed, because we're all so... alike. We all crave connection with one another... not the not-looking-you-in-the-eyes-but-say-'thanks'-absentmindedly-for-holding-the-door-open-for-me kind of connection, but the look-me-deep-in-the-eyes-see-my-soul-see-past-my-ego-that-obscures-us-from-truly-connecting kind of connection. You know the difference.

It's not just about the eyes. I'm thinking about connection and how we either build it in each moment, with each interaction, or we don't. As in, why was I so preoccupied with getting us to dance class on time that I wasn't fully present in the conversation with my daughter when I hurried her to eat her breakfast so we could get out the door? I was going through a list in my head of things to remember; I wasn't giving her my full attention. What message does that send her? How does that reflect upon myself? Oy vey.

So I sit here, really thinking about it. What does connection feel like? What does it look like? Well, I tell ya, when dh was standing behind me at the Remembrance Day ceremony yesterday, and he kissed me gently on the back of the head, I felt such a deep connection with him - we had a lengthy, loving conversation in that one gesture. When ds gave me a spontaneous hug as we passed in the hallway later, again I experienced connection. I consciously tried to give whomever I was talking to today my undivided attention (and trust me when I say this is a learned behaviour for me; I have to consciously overcome the urge to multitask!).

In the end, connection enriches our life experiences so greatly I cannot begin to describe it. I don't know if I've shared the moment last autumn: the kids and I were driving the famed Cabot Trail on Cape Breton, Nova Scotia... We detoured off because I wanted to go see the abbey where Pema Chodron resides, and as we went down this single lane, curving, seaside gravel road, we came around a corner (we hadn't passed a house in probably 5 kms or even 10), and all of a sudden there was a house and we were approaching the abbey, and there was a woman, probably in her 60s, out for a walk, and she stood there, her hand outstretched, with a black-capped chickadee sitting on her gloved hand. Our eyes met, she smiled, the bird flew to the nearby bushes as our vehicle passed by.... Such a fleeting moment, yet the impact of that moment is etched in my memory. She was living so fully in the present moment; she had been deep in connection with that chickadee, and she didn't begrudge that I had interrupted. In that instant I was reminded it is not the destination, it is the journey and HOW we travel that matters... do we travel mindfully? is our intention to connect with all other beings we come in contact with? Are we able to hold the sacred space open for others to join us in deep connection?

How do you travel through life?