Confession: I think I've not only fallen off the juice feastin' wagon, I've left my self in the dust as it heads off into the distance. This past weekend away with dh, while wonderful in that we had a fantastic time together, was extremely challenging in maintaining the juice feast. We were on a cruise ship and I'd been told no juicers would be allowed on board through security, so I left my Green Star at home, with some sadness and a significant amount of trepidation and anxiety. I packed 4L of juice into the cooler because we had a road trip to get to the ship on Day 1, so I had juices to drink on the way down, which was helpful. Got to the ship in the afternoon and walking around the ship, I quickly realized I was going to be challenged to maintain even a raw vegan lifestyle on board. Three nights, four days of cruising proved to be more than I was willing to withstand. I chose to eat food, for starters, after having been juicing for the entire month of September. Second of all, some of the food I chose to eat wasn't even vegan - I consumed some dairy for the first time in a long time. You can imagine that this isn't the best way to break a juice feast. No, no, I wouldn't recommend going on a cruise at a time like that. Now that I'm back home, I'm trying daily to get back into the juicing... I have liters of juice in the freezer that I keep pulling out and drinking, but I am nowhere near the 4L of daily juice I would like to return to. I'm just having a struggle getting back into the routine. I *did* go to the fitness centre on the ship a couple times and did my best to work off the food I'd eaten, and I enjoyed a lovely hot stone massage as well, but I've yet to jump happily back into exercising since returning home.

I said to dh that if I had my way, I'd organize a raw vegan cruise.... with fresh made-to-order green juices, smoothies, salads, soups, entrees, and desserts, pure water, herbal teas. There would also be a larger fitness centre with constant classes and motivational support: yoga classes, tai chi, and meditation, as well as the traditional "gym" with cardio and weight equipment, running track, personal trainers and even supportive conversation groups throughout the days. Not to mention pools, sauna, and hot tubs. And of course, the spa - massages, and other body work, as well as the hair stylists and manicures and pedicures.

I guess I just need to create more of a support system right now for the choices I'm endeavouring to stick to. I have a hard enough time working through an addiction to anything baked (just say no to the wheat, ~n~) and sadly also things with sugar in them (my accursed sweet tooth) without being surrounded by it. I have created a bit of a haven inside my home; I have my blender for smoothies and juicer close at hand and also a variety of raw food "cook"books, as well as the ingredients to make things. On the ship, it was like being thrown in to how "everyone else" eats... surrounded by alcoholic beverages, meat of every description, dairy in the desserts as well as wheat.... it was too much for me to handle, even after being vegan for 3 1/2 yrs and raw for 1 1/2 years. You'd think by NOW I'd be over my food issues, but I'm just not yet. It ended up feeling VERY overwhelming and stressful, in terms of the whole eating on the ship. On the whole, however, the weekend wasn't just about eating; dh and I had a wonderful time together. :)

You might know that I've been reading Raw Emotions by Angela Stokes. I'm really REALLY looking to release the emotional attachments I have towards food. It's been such a long struggle, and I won't pretend to say that I fully understand my attachments yet. I don't. And it's still a struggle. It's a constant struggle.

Maybe I should stop referring to it as a struggle. That's probably the first thing I need to do. Challenge, yes; struggle, no.

Either way, send healing healthy vibes my way. Because good grief, I need some support for my health-giving, healing raw food lifestyle today!